>>4735
As for feedback I think having text is always better. As for the text itself I found the sentence structure didn't flow well. Not that I'm an expert or good at writing myself but when reading there felt like a lot of moments where the perspective just shifts? Its kind of switching between first-person and third-person dialogue. Like on page 13, "She became stale" is a statement, not something the pov character says to Vi but to the audience or something a narrator would say, when the last page had a line clearly spoken from the pov character towards Vi. You even have dialogue on the same page where the pov character speaks to Vi. "Time you joined them. Let me help remove even more weight from your neck". I think it would be nice to distinguish those lines through maybe a dialogue box and speech bubbles, or to keep it consistent. Also typo's/grammatical errors, not a big deal but since you asked for feedback, "No even fun to punch her anymore". Part2-14 "We are gonna amputee them soon, so show them off while you can." Amputee is a noun. you want "amputate them soon" also just saying cut them off would be fine too imo.


I think it would be nice to have a few lines from the girls too. Maybe a little line of sass or two. Or just heart icons from them. Just to give them a bit more expression. I'm assuming you intentionally didn't clean up the images for speed reasons, so I won't comment on the images themselves.