So I went to CivitAI in search for Illu-based models from that list that would work with my existing scene preset without causing messed up graphics results... too much. Eventually, I found a FF14 model of Alisaie that was seemingly very well trained.
I gave it a try with that last scene. Then I began to wonder when this universe has stopped making sense.

So, like I said before, those curvaceous bodies of busty characters that look like they've been designed to be converted into pleasurable fuckmeat nuggets? They have only managed to fit approximately half of that oversized bollard of a dildo inside them.