>>21512
I know my reaction is late, but all I say it is passable....
The author himself admited that he knew squat about the characters and just copy-pasted the story.... And boy it shows....
I mean there so much opportunity wasted! Shinon should've been the source, due to her traumatic experiences, she confesses to Asuna who tries to learn more on the theme and realizes she is in to it.... And being the main moving force of their relationships brings her heel on Kirito to make the mod, it is stated in the first book that he has server level PC so he can run simple SEED environments on it. Kirito should have been a duffus he always is, with constant WTF attitude, And I would add a scene of Kirito using debug console to adjust pain threshold and HP consumption, by having Shinon and Asuna strangle eachother, the story totally left out such technicalities as HP bar.... Then Asuna dragging Kirito to the gallows and riding him.... But I digress;P
Tobe frank when you said you wanted a story, I was surprised you didn't ask me, but then again my knowledge of sex is akin to zero like the mass of the electron, so even if I can make the setup, I wouldn't be too good with the main action-_-`