I know here we all emphasise a difference between fantasy and reality, but I have a hard time really setting it apart like that and it makes me feel like a terrible human being.

Maybe you want to be raped or tortured, maybe you want to be the one raping and torturing, maybe you just wanna kidnap a little girl, tie her down and take a dump on her while she screams and cries. Either way to some degree we're all aware of the separation between fantasy and reality, myself included, but... I can't help but feel a pang of envy hearing about real guro things people have experienced that are the things I'm into. I hate it. I hate that I live for imagining these things and pretending they're real.

And it's disgusting because I know those things would be terrible or traumatic in real life but it makes me so angry!

For me I feel like part of my problem is that my guro interests tie into my self esteem a bit. Does anybody else feel this way?