Ever since I was born, I've had a rather extreme phobia of blood. It terrifies me on a level that is incomprehensible. The mere thought of it leaves me feeling dizzy and there have been many occasions where I almost fainted in public because of this phobia. It can be quite problematic because I'm also very interested in serial killers so sometimes I'll be listening intently to a podcast one moment, then teetering on the edge of consciousness seconds later.

As a teenager, I frequently had intrusive thoughts where I would temporarily become convinced that every object dangerous and I had to retract me wrists inside my sleeves to avoid cutting them on my desk or pencil or laptop. My mind was filled with images of bleeding uncontrollably and I felt as though I might lose control at any moment and tear open my wrists with my bare hands or teeth. At this point, I would begin hyperventilating until I nearly fainted, then slowly return to normal. Nowadays, when confronted with intrusive thoughts, I usually begin laughing as a coping mechanism.

I come here partly for the morbid discussion and partly to desensitize myself to the subject matter that has caused me so much distress.