Do you ever feel nausea to your brink where you're really sick and could actually puke just thinking hack on things?
Is there anything that keeps you going?
Including even just learning things, reading about genocides and the like, what keeps you up at night?

I've had many nights without a phone to distract me from dread I didn't face.
...yet, but have now and holy fuck I hate it.
To give just an example, I've been mistreated by cops and other intense criminals.. and reading of genocides makes me ponder how I might... go...