I was just reminiscing about how I got into this, and thought it would be a good topic for a thread.

I think I've been attracted to this stuff for as long as I can remember. I used to love children's horror stories, and those cautionary tales. And the billy 'poems' that were going around, like:

Billy, with a thirst for gore
Nailed the baby to the door
Mother, in a voice so quaint
Said "Billy dear, don't scratch the paint!"

Or:

Billy, with a gleeful shout
Gouged the baby's eyeballs out
And jumped on them and made them pop
Mother said "Billy, stop!"

Later, I'd fantasise about doing horrible things to my classmates and teachers, especially those who were mean to me.

I used to play a game when I rode on the bus too. I'd imagine there was a giant roller running alongside the bus, on the pavement (sidewalk) smashing everything and squishing everyone, especially the cuties.

So when I became sexually mature, that's the sort of thing that fuelled my imagination when I fapped. Squishing, wood chippers, eaten by crocs etc. Sometimes I imagined I was the victim too. Kinky.

Of course this was secret, and there wasn't anything that catered to such tastes at all. Then the internet happened.

I remember one day I thought, 'hey there must be pics of dead girls or art about it or something'. So I started looking around. I was so nervous even searching for stuff lol. It was so taboo.

Then one day I in early 2000s found a collage or collection of guro pics. Don't remember where. Maybe Reddit or one of the chans. But not one squishing or meat grindery pic at all. So I just passed it by.

Then later that day, I thought, 'hang on, there must be more. and maybe there's something for me.'

So I kept looking and discovered that there was this thing called guro. I was so excited!

I probably found gurochan around 2010 or a bit earlier. I felt bad looking at such a subversive site, but eventually I got used to it, and started downloading stuff and lurking.

Then one day I found something in the wayback machine and decided to upload. I still remember that pic. Then I must have discovered Pixiv, Deviant Art and e-hentai. So I started sharing those pics as an anon on gurochan.

And I read some of the stories. Hardly any even catered to my tastes, and those that did often weren't very well written. Well that's ok, you take what you can get.

About 2 years ago, I read some stories, and thought. 'These are lame! Even I can do better than that'. But I thought I'd need a username. So I did that and started writing. All my life I thought I couldn't write fiction, but suddenly it provided an outlet. A few days later I had 15000 words done, and so that was the start of that.

Anyone else care to share?