i desperately need to know that i’m not the only one with this fixation. as a kid, i had a horrible phobia of anything and everything related to teeth; i hated cleaning them, i hated the dentist, i’d fly into a panic any time i had a loose tooth or could feel new teeth coming in. i even had to be restrained on several occasions just to have my teeth brushed. so that, combined with an unnecessary and frightening extraction i had at one point, should have been enough to instill a terror in me for life.

and yet, around my teen years, the situation changed axis entirely. it shifted into a fascination that, though i would have denied it at the time, was entirely sexual. fantasies of dental procedures where i’m held down, shoved around, mocked for the pain and fear i’m feeling. daydreams of conditions like hyperdontia where i have no choice but to have my teeth pulled again, and again, and again. these ideas were confusing, but so absurdly arousing.

cut to many years later, the fetish has only grown stronger. even teeth on their own (in absence of anything specifically dental or surgical) are attractive to me; canines and premolars especially. i love the feeling of licking teeth, of running my tongue along the spot where they meet the gums. i love brushing and flossing and am complimented at nearly every routine cleaning. but it’s not enough. there’s still this persistent, nagging desire to actually have teeth pulled that hasn’t gone away, not for the past several years. i actually still have all four of my wisdom teeth, and only one of them is impacted (albeit not causing me any pain and i’m able to clean it enough that it’s not a problem, not yet). my regular dentist keeps nagging me to get them pulled and i can’t get over the idea of just doing it myself. i know i shouldn’t, and i’d probably just break the tooth and/or give myself an infection in the process, but god, it doesn’t stop the idea of being hot.

is there anyone, anywhere, who can sympathize with this? or am i too much of a lunatic even for gurochan?