>>4123
that's very interesting, why do you think that self hate makes you wanting to inflect pain on others, doesn't it seem more "logical" for it be self reflected? that's how it seems to me, I hate myself because X reasons therefore I need to be punished.

the part about wanting my torturer to be an attractive female due to loneliness and attention seeking , does make a lot of sense to me. I desire the affection of a beautiful woman, but since I'm not having it in my current situation and feeling unworthy of her positive attention, I seek the negative one