>> I want to be loving, kind and understanding. It's this contradiction you know? And you all manage to accept who you are and what you like so casually.


Well....

I was this guy. I was wonderful. Now I'm hateful. I used to be angry, and now I am hateful. I used to be loving, nw... idk.

But you can definitely pursue your interests however morbid they are and be a good person without hating yourself.

Then again, you may bump shoulders with evil sickos, like who I may be any day now or many comrades of mine. Many will admit to being such, and many will pretend they are good people. But YOU can CHOOSE.

...to be a good person. If you really want.

If your fetish brings you pain, do without it for a while. Even if you come to the conclusion that it is fine and nothing is wrong with it, it serves you well to have restraint. TO hold TRUE DISCIPLINE, not the mindless obedience which may have brought many to illogical subservience, but rather your will controlling your instinct and not the other way around, while both work in conjunction and not against each other.

There is nothing so vital to fap to or consume that it is more important than your overall Self. Please, refrain from this fetish that brings you pain, and understand it better when you understand yourself.