You have problem of split personality where your true self is repressed and angry so it seeks revenge. (That is probably why you like guro in first place.) your fake virtual personality constructed by society thinks that your true self is despicable and should be repressed or destroyed.
If that will happen you will become narcissist, a person whose true self is dead and cannot feel anything in life besides pride and shame.

Oh jesus.

> your true self is repressed and angry so it seeks revenge.

so clooooose!

>your fake virtual personality constructed by society thinks that your true self is despicable and should be repressed or destroyed.

and miss...

I know all this shit is horrible. And I know it's born of chaos, and repressed pain and injustice, things that slip through cracks and flaws of civilization.

I claim that in a clean and just world with no genetic disorders of mind and body, none of this would be rampant. I simply blame it on chaos in the universe. A wrong mix of genetic combination and certain trauma events creates a monster or psychopath