I used to pray and beg for my guro killing fantasies to be taken from me. It used to destroy me, and I was a couple years older than you.

All I can really give for advice is just be a good person, spread happiness and eventually you won't feel so bad about your fetishes. Its just fantasy after all. What I do in real life and what I think about when I'm alone are very different, and thats not a bad thing.