So, CBT/Castration is by far my most favored fetish. When I'm looking at fictional porn of it away from other people and in a sexual way, I never feel sympathy pain. When I see it happen in real life or when I'm around other people, and I haven't gone out of my way to find it myself for sexual pleasure, it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I imagine that's not because of "mirror neurons" though. More because I'm seeing something that I find sexually arousing in a public area. Like, watching TV or a movie with other people and someone gets hit in the balls.

I feel fucked up in a lot of ways for being like this. I think I'm desensitizing myself to the fetish more and more, so I have to keep finding more sadistic art/stories to satisfy me. Just a few years ago, I would have been squicked by seeing castration or a penectomy. I would rather have settled for more tame stuff. So maybe conditioning has something to do with it too. The more I see it, the less it affects me.