>>6117

>I find that my biggest problem was actually lack of friends or what is even more disappointing there were no sexual encounters in my childhood of any kind.


>Now I read those stories about boys being molested by their gorgeous teachers and I think dam if That happened to me, I see other people telling how they played doctor or did similar stuff, but nothing like that happened to me either.




Yeah, I'm in the same boat on that front. That's the most likely cause why my self-confidence was almost inexistent in high-school.

Now I've been able to build it up quite a lot through exercise and being good at university. But the effect of my deprivation from social contact with the opposite sex probably led to me feeling powerless...and in turn developed the fetish for guro. This fetish is most likely about the power to do anything to someone, the most empowering action being to take another's life.





>>6118

My parents loved me unconditionally. Never disciplined or beat me either. (lol, in fact I remember in the fourth grade my mother tried to beat me once and I snapped the wooden stick she held in half).

That was a problem, because it led me to believe in this idealized version of love, where I should find a partner who would just love me like my parents did, which is silly. Pursuing this ideal, I never found anyone, because I was blind to my own flaws and never realized that my lack of attention from women was due to how I was acting, more than how I was looking.