For me, it evolved from an existing enjoyment of BDSM.

I like being restrained and I like feeling helpless, and ultimately that means being at the mercy of your partner. It's the ultimate expression of trust, and for me IRL that that leaves me with a profound feeling of being cared for. It's like falling and knowing your partner will always catch you. It's a beautiful feeling, makes me want to curl up against their chest and purr.

It's also a powerful sexual feeling. Laying on your back, cuffed to a bed with your legs over your partner's shoulders, gazing into their eyes as you fade into orgasm. That also feels amazing - you're totally helpless in the best way possible, fading out into bliss as they watch you melt. Utterly.

For me, my victim fetish is just an evolution of that. I sometimes like to fantasize about losing control of a situation, my partner hurting me instead of caring for me. Maybe instead of fading out into bliss, fading out into death.

A big draw is losing control of my body. Forced arousal; getting soaked even though my partner is hurting me. Forced orgasm; being unable NOT to cum is a MASSIVE turn on. And the loss of bladder control as I fade out, a throb and spreading warmth as I'm at my most sensitive.

And yet all of my fantasies are just that, erotic fantasy. They don't reflect on my real life in any way, and fade away for days or weeks at a time. They're a bit of fun when I can't sleep, or need a powerful orgasm to blow away nagging worries or doubts.

At home and work I'm assertive to the point of bossy, and I think that's why I like BDSM. I like being in charge, and I'm using to getting my way. So being tied up and put at my partner's tender mercy is a huge turn-on.

Finally, I guess an extreme example of a fetish being a fetish is my occasional drowning kick. As erotic as I find it, in reality I'm hopelessly and amusingly hydrophobic. Almost comically so - riding the ferry to work on a rough day is enough to leave me shaking and struggling not to hurl, even if the waves are only ten inches tall. So much for being a Navy Brat.