The majority of my fantasies involve myself dying. The biggest way for me to cope with everything is the thought about my own death. I try to visualize my body decomposing over time in different environments. What happens to those around me, how I died. Was it in an accident, murder? Or finally ate the bullet. Contemplate how long it takes for me to be discovered in the latter case. Most of the fantasies that involve murder just end up in my dreams on their own although now my own death fills my dreams again.... Oddly enough, I feel the most well rested and relaxed when I wake up from such dreams. Evidence, no doubt, that I'm not right upstairs.

Of course, if someone should make me mad enough I drift to fantasies of slow torture, starting at how I would get them alone, what I need, all the way to how to dispose. Naturally I won't do anything I think of. I enjoy being on this side of prison walls too much.

Unlike some of you, no sense of morality plays a role in my mind.