I have a scat fetish that i resent that i had since i was 15.

I have a genetic disease named Cystic Fibrosis. Its caused my petuitary to soildify and develop a micro penis. I've had 8 hospitalizations, 21 operations on lungs and 7 on my sinuses.

Im 22, live with my parents and jobless.

Am i happy?, am i free?
The question is absurd

Im too damaged to live and been through to much to die.