Without assisted vision, I'm a pretty cheerful person who sometimes takes jokes too far and is really nosy. I'm also an aspiring engineer.
But as for my school (I go to one for people with health conditions - I'm in the psychological health department) and parents… I'm a little more fucked up. I'm an ex-neet and have pretty severe depression that I deal with by joking and studying, which my self worth is tied to. I want to make a significant difference to the world. I have to no matter what. I can't take breaks or else I'll be like everyone else and that's just god awful, isn't it? Because everyone else is lazy - I have to sacrifice my free time and divorce my humanity for the SAKE of humanitys greater good. I am cold when it comes to my political beliefs and believe utility should be top priority.
I know that a lot of this thought process is illogical and over-the-top retardation but it gives me motive to live. I've had a failed suicide attempt before and have stabbed myself too. And I believe the strongest form of love - love that I'll never be able to participate it in due to my mental slave-like conditions - is to want to see all of someone both mentally and physically. Which is where guro goes into play. I want to cut into someones body and cut into their thoughts. thats really pretty and romantic.
i also love to talk. thats irrelevant but i felt like putting that out there.
ill never be able to achieve my dreams realistically but i want to die trying, ideally surrounded by the guts of the ones i love most.