Context is everything. Youd be surprised who you can meet in a bar in san francisco. Any place with a BDSM group that meets weekly in some bar owned by a leather head is going to also be the kind of place you can find someone sketching quietly in the corner into a notebook full of gore, or someone who likes to be choked *toooo* hard.

I think some of the mistakes one might make include dropping all social norms. "Im in a place where I get to be myself" doesnt mean you can just shout about wanting to kill a woman.

In the same way, someone who has totally vanilla fetishes cant just start a conversation with "all I want to do is cum on any womans face."

Anyway, it wont always be available, but if youre close enough to a big city to go there on a weekend, you should be able to find a scene with people thatll talk about collars and whips, and if youre good at navigating a social hirarchy, I bet itd be easy to work your way to the kinds of people you like from there.

Horror, rock, metal, even people that like danganronpa and corpse party… theres even a scene of chokers, knives, and sparkly makeup in the EDM scene. You shouldnt get into something that you wouldnt enjoy if you werent into guro, but you should be able to find a group you want to hang out with in which guro is a subset.

Note: Ive met a number of people into guro in real life and online.