>>9361
>>9364
Female-controlled servers, say on Discord or the like are…hm…I should say, SOMEWHAT like this. There's certainly more problem-solving going on behind the scenes so that everyone can have a space that helps them be themselves. For example, Discord has the ability to create channels. Most of the time, in plenty of the servers I've been on that are female-run, the channel that serves the purpose of being a free-for-all or "catch-all" channel for chatting and shooting the shit is run fairly and without much input from the moderators. You see, the things that some men claim to hate about the types of servers that moderate and have active moderators translates to me as something I'm sure you DIDN'T intend to convey.

That is: "I want to be a part of a server where I can be myself" translates into "I want to be a part of a server where I can abuse people and face no consequence." Now, I know that's not what you mean but that's what the moderators are there to prevent. That's all they do. When someone begins to abuse other members, it creates silence on a board or a channel. When you make people feel anger or shame or frustrations, they will LEAVE YOUR SITE. You can't run a functional community when members are claiming to "just be themselves" but they're abusing other members. Then you have a PR problem and it's caused by your own members. It's like if your neighborhood relies on revenue from tourism but one of your residents is committing crimes against those very tourists. It's not feasible to run a community that way. This is why lesbinon hasn't responded to you after her initial statement and this is why many women choose not to interact within the gurochan community. They lurk. I've been lurking for years. Why? Because I've seen disparaging remarks made against women and decided that I wouldn't like to be a vocal part of a community that couldn't see value in me. That was my decision based on the factors at hand. But if you ask for a female perspective, I'm willing to give it.

In female-run communities, there is a sense that if you have an issue, the mods are approachable and the community as a whole has an end goal that everyone treats each other with respect. This does NOT translate into "everyone agrees with everyone else" it translates into "everyone respects each other's differences and provides support and encouragement when necessary." There's far less judgement in such communities (despite the fact that you guys must think we're all judging each other all the time, that's actually the opposite of the truth) and much MUCH more sharing and congratulating and overall happiness.

I've been a moderator in an A/B/O themed Discord server for over a year now and we're probably one of the most active A/B/O servers on Discord at current. We're a very agreeable bunch and we accept any man or woman who finds the link to join. In the year or so that we've been active, we've had to ban ONE person and I did it myself. Why? Because they were verbally abusive. They did not understand that their words and actions on the server were causing others to shy away from commenting or interacting and were confrontational and aggressive when mods politely asked them to refrain from abusive language. Their excuse for their conduct was "that's just me." Well ok, but if that's just you, you're going to have to create your own space to be you and not inflict yourself on others who didn't consent to being abused. Nobody's going around saying "how dare you share this picture of a bunny on my server, BAN." In these spaces, one doesn't have to constantly "check" themselves…it's simply common sense. Your own sense of decency and a sense for "time and place" is what guides you in your interactions. I know some people have trouble with this. Some people have issues with boundaries, understanding hyperbole, understanding sarcasm, recognizing social cues–but that's not really the issue. We can handle these issues. We do it all the time. The issue is that women don't like to be harassed or treated poorly. So we just…don't tolerate it.

It's the same reason I simply don't respond to rude people. I don't suffer fools and I don't expect anyone else to either.