Obviously you are not alone. There are lots(relatively speaking) of women and some men who have similar fantasies especially when they can get all benefits without actually suffering and dying ;) in fact people willing to be victims seem to be even more common for some reason.


Actually it is the same thing to some degree, because killer usually also thinking about the feelings of the victim and that is the main motivation they both fell similar things.
Taking the role of the victim is nothing more than being lazy attention seeker ;)
Many will be Ok with switching those roles.

So being victim or killer is not that important, what matters much more is if you are narcissist or borderline.
As if you want to have public or personal attention.
as I noticed there are the majority of borderline victims, a bit less borderline sadists, and then very few narcissistic killers and almost none of the narcissistic victims.