You are scared of nothing, all of these things happen only in your head and as long as you have a sane conscience you won't let any of this happen, if the fantasy of getting brutalized turns you on then IS FINE, you can tell what is fictional from what is real since is a basic human skill, just fap to yourself getting gored in the most brutal ways and be relieved that after you release your testosterone you can just go back to living your life without any problem, you don't need to tell anyone about that and you sure as hell don't want to actually be tortured