Not so much of late. Medication has helped immensely, or more truthfully the… sixth? type tried over the last few years… some of the others barely did anything and it was likely a mix of anxiety and attempting to keep my job that kept me alive. Others were more effective but the immediately previous course started OK then gradually faded in effectiveness until I was just in a very dark place, yet got shit-all play from the docs until I was… maybe not actively threatening, but strongly suggesting a deadly outcome could be on their hands if they didn't change my prescription.

tl;dr it can be a bit of a fight to get the right treatment (still haven't got proper full assessments or any therapy lined up), but it's worth it once it works.

As for removing monsters from the world … I have no guilt about just looking at some drawings which tweak the darker and more animal recesses of my brain. Gotta get the dopamine, serotonin and noradrenaline from somewhere for the reuptake inhibitors to have something to work on. No adults, children or animals have actually been harmed at the end of the artist's brush, pen or stylus, and I'm certainly not partipating in any of the same. It's just art, and there's things hanging in galleries that would get you looked at very funny if you painted them as a new thing in 2020, so it's clearly more a matter of opinion and moral relativism than any clear cut case of morally acceptable vs unacceptable. I'm certainly not going to off myself over what JPGs appear via the million or so pixels of my computer monitor, so long as they're not actually beast-CP-snuff livestreams or whatever.