once in a while I'll get in a mood where I like loli stuff. It's kinda abstract though. I'm not really into children, even in fantasy. I need the subject of my fantasies to comprehend their lives and have a developed inner world like an adult. I'm more turned on by the condition of childhood, like how it feels to be a child, how it feels to be small and cute and not in charge of your life. How sexuality feels to a child, something forbidden and wrong, not yet an integrated part of who you are, something you get in trouble for rather than appreciated for.

Sometimes I fantasize about women who just stopped growing really young, like 4'0" and 20 kg, small and frail even for a child her height, with a cute face and soft voice. I'll imagine her in the workplace with adults towering over her, fussing over how cute she is while she tries to do her job. I imagine a normal-sized woman in the elevator watching her cute little coworker, thinking "This must be how men feel around me" and getting turned on. She invites the child-sized woman out to lunch and then takes her home and fucks her, tosses her around like a little doll.

I imagine the child-sized woman sitting cross-legged in the park on a busy summer day, rubbing the heel of her foot against her pussy, no one noticing that she's masturbating. She's lost in her thoughts when she sees two feet stride into view, and she looks up to see the man she has a crush on staring down at her, watching her masturbate, close enough that he can see her doing it. She squeaks and smooths out her skirt, blushing up to her ears. He pretends he didn't see, and says something like "lovely day out." She clears her throat and agrees.

She wants to date a man but no man will date her because she looks so underage. Instead she gets bossed around and dominated by a series of women. She's always the sub, she's too little and cute to be a dom. Often it's an open relationship for her mistress but not for her. Mistress is allowed to see other women and men, while the little sub must be faithful. She's not "grown up enough" to see other people. She'll stay home naked in her little cage tonight while mistress goes out clubbing. Sometimes mistress abandons her in that cramped little cage all weekend, like a kitten in a kennel.

etc. Basically when I look at loli porn I always imagine an adult mind inside.