>>11453
You're a man LARPing as a woman.
BUT… if you're not, here is my response:

You're protecting your psyche when you convince yourself you deserve it. Deserving it is easier to bear than not deserving it. After all that's been done to you, to then think none of it had to happen, to think you are worth more than that, is to realize what has been stolen from you and lose whatever peace and acceptance you've been able to find. Sometimes the scariest thing to do is to reject your circumstances and recognize that the environment around you is wrong.

but you're OP, so it doesn't matter.