My first sexual fantasies were inspired by a super powers comic, where one character had the power to become skinny or fat, and used it to crush the protagonist in a bus.

I was always very imaginative, so my first fantasies were quite fictional. This involved torturing a woman in different sexual ways, such as crushing with weight, belly and tits (was also quite lenient with what sexual organs each gender could have), massive pissing and shitting you would need to swim to escape from, and stabbing her with a poisonous scorpion stinger.

It was less guro than domination, but it didn't really matter what side I was on - I'd be just as happy to shit on a woman as to get shat on. But the whole BDSM thing didn't really have much appeal - bondage seems like cheating and submitting gets rid of the fun. Not to mention most of the ideas that turn me on aren't really possible, so I turned to hentai for less realistic scenarios.

From the start I knew I wanted snuff, and did my best to find succubus scenes, but too many became friends with the succubus instead. Though I did find an excellent scene where one girl fucks another into submission in Angel Blade Punish. Eventually I gave up until I happened to find a manga where a lizardman claws open a girls breasts.

It was like a lightbulb appeared. Suddenly I had a curiousity of what the inside of boobs looked like, and quickly expanded to put 'guro' in all my Google Image searches.

And thus began the search for very specific images with limited success. The important thing was less blood and gore mixed with sex, but more as just a more violent way to dominate another.

There were a few times in normal media something happened to turn me on, such as a girl cutting open a guy and digging their hand into the wound, or a girl who schemed to steal the magic powers of her sister by kissing her, causing her to fall comotose.

Eventually I starting writing my own stories about a girl who gained ultimate power followed by a trail of sex and death, an assassin who loved to slowly cut up people and fuck them as they died, and a succubus who is in disguise until it's too late.

Most of the protagonists ended up being female, partially so they have a pussy and tits already - it's less awkward to grow a dick than those two, partially because girl on girl when one can grow a dick is sexier than a guy on girl, and partially because I would feel guilty writing about a guy essentially raping loads of girls (but a girl raping loads of guys is fine).

But I agree with Onyx that it's strange how it's unpopular. So much media has so much violence and everyone loves it so much. You'd think that'd translate pretty directly into sex, but I guess not. Maybe they want to feel safe when imagining sex?

Kudos if you read through my entire sexual history.