I'd make a pants-pissingly horrorific flick!

Some students and staff members get locked in with a monster in a girls' school overnight. Don't ask me how that happens. Something kills whoever sits on the toilet. It can leave the pipes and it's homed in on piss scent so the girls aren't safe taking a leak anywhere else either.

This movie would feature girls getting sucked into the toilet, girls getting dragged off while they try to run away with their pants around their ankles, girls trying to drain their tanks anywhere besides a toilet, girls getting the piss scared outta them, and girls squirming and bouncing cuz their guts are swimming. Whether the girl's a shrieky prep or a cocky tomboy or an adorkable librarian or any other horror stereotype she's gotta do business sometime and the audience gets to see the gold.

It takes most of the movie before the characters and viewers see or understand the killer. Don't ask me what it is. A girl with goddess-tier bladder-control lures the bathroom beast out in the open by leaving a trail of little gold puddles between the locker room and the middle of the gym. The final battle is between some sorta Ridley Carpenter Cronenberg motherfucker and a sharp-thinking gymnastical girl armed with improvised weapons and an adult diaper.

In the flashforward ending the school returns to normalcy after the evil was defeated as far as we know but everybody's a little skittish about sitting on the can. The final scene is a happy pep rally and the camera angle shows that every ass in the cheerleading squad is pampered.