>How and why does this occur?

the explanation is that women need some trigger to get aroused while men get aroused on their own if you live in society where sex is very hidden women will naturally never feel any desire for it unless someone will create appropriate environment
But either way it is very clear that female sex drive is much much lower than male sex drive and yes if you are nor that interested in sex as guy then it is all fine fine but if you are interested you will be facing extreme competition to get a woman who is just as interested as you are.

you just explained it yourself
>and some women just need a little warming up to get the machinery running
if there is no warming up then there is no interest. that is exactly the thing I was talking about in my claim that women are not interested in sex. It does not count if you need warm up because that warm up will not come from somewhere for no reason.
The amount of warmup is exactly that sex drive we are talking about , of you need no warm u then it will be level zero, if you need warmup it is negative and if you are taking initiative to warm up someone then it is positive

>Do you think men and women face similar pressures and men just bear them better?
Actually yes the proof is that there are way more male deviant that female. Girls are usually very obedient and submissive even from the very young age and even those who start as tomboys eventually change during puberty.

from my own example I can say that I was extremely disobedient even as a baby always fighting with my parents even refusing to use world and inventing my own my sister was complete opposite. and that was pretty stereotypical situation for all the time not only with me all girls in school are submissive and boys just make constant problems for adults wherever they can
no punishments and pressure was able to affect that.
In the patriarchal cultures sex is pretty extreme taboo for everyone and if you want to do it you have to be extremely deviant and expect pretty severe punishment. So you need very very high motivation to take that risk.

In situation of full sexual freedom like US women may have some more interest because why not it is pleasant, but will she take severe risk to do it sex?

also the fact that women are far less interested also remains, maybe we both like chocolate but You like it just "ah ,meh, tastes good" and I like it as I am thinking about it all the time.

>masturbation in women. 88% of women in the sample masturbate, and most masturbate at least once a month
LOL by male standards I tink 99% of boys masturbate once a week or once a day doing that once month is like doing it never
when I was reading some sexology book long time ago, there was one sentence:
99% of boys admit to masturbate, and the remaining 1% is lying :) the context was in discussion on how to prevent boys from masturbating.


>Hard to prove fatherhood back then.

According to my knowledge paternity was not really that important at older times and it was common custom to offer sex with your wife for your guests as that ensured better genetic diversity and more healthy family. And since everybody was sleeping on the same bed you want it or not, sex was an orgy when it did happen In some tribes they even offer underage girls to guests sometimes. some eskimos tribes even had ritual where they visit neighboring tribes and have sex with their wives with deliberate intent to get them pregnant.
Way more important factor was how good worker is your husband or wife. in my culture nobody ever bothered with virginity but dowry was the most important factor of marriage as well as her ability to work. since marriages usually happened at the very young age caring about virginity of 12 year old girl is irrelevant. aslo when you see children mostly as workforce who cares who is their father you want as many as possible of them.
sex drive was always considered a nuisance which distracts from school and work and has to be repressed and energy diverted to other tasks.

> FGM makes sex painful
where did you even get such information? some ultrafemminst website? it does not make sex more painful just makes orgasms hardly achievable.
what it will really make more painful is birth. because baby is far bigger than even biggest penis.

>reading gay fanfiction
they can read any fiction they want but my point was where are girls who do nothing else than just read the fiction?
As if you read about situation of guys there are even talks about porn addiction, nofap culture. Where is all that for girls? where are girl porn addiction and where are girl groups bragging about ultimate achievement that they managed to abstain for masturbation for almost entire week using extraordinary concentration and willpower.