>In one case something is irreversibly destructed, in the other case something is build up.

well my point was that parents are deciding fate of their children without asking for their opinion or consent, often even forcing them onto certain path using threats and violence. And all that is considered proper way of parenting while giving your child a choice is considered wrong.

So in this situation same can be said: can parents decide for a girl if she will grow into slut or into housewife? (just theoretically speaking)

Like in my situation when I was at the age of 6 I was forced to learn how to read at that time I had no clue why do I need it at all and why those idiots are torturing me like that more or less entire school was worse than hell which I hated more than anything. My mother was also forced to go to the musical school and she received extracurricular torture there. :) But I did not notice anyone to complain and say that teaching your children to read is wrong. even opposite, refusing to torture then may be considered a child abuse or neglect.