How about we start with question what emotions you want to feel yourself and what those girls are supposed to feel and why?

As the term "destruction" either means eliminating that thing from existence or it can be just aesthetics of destruction which makes you aroused same as some big boobs fetish. Then when destruction is done everything is just fine as before. In that case it is totally possible to destroy them in the most gruesome ways but also have them enjoy life :)

as In my childhood I for some reason had fetish for belly piercing like with sword or harakiri or magic tricks and while that could look pretty horrible if I told that i love people being stabbed I was absolutely not interested in the damage or pain it was just the sight of this what was sexy.

another issue is so called "post nut clarity" when in the roused state you have very different personality and interests than when not aroused. in that state you become pretty stupid :)
So for the best results you need to align those interests somehow with proper narrative to stop being ashamed of yourself. as how to make your stupid interests look more rational.
Let that rationalization hamster do it's work ;)