>I crave these close relationships everyone else seems to have but i just feel it's impossible
Keep in mind that most of the things you see (like another couple) might be completely different than what you think, for example I know married couples that have a "good" relationship but when you look at the details of their relationship it's kind of insane how different everyone is and they make it work somehow, and that should let you know that seeking something specific is almost impossible but finding someone isn't impossible, it is a blessing though