i’ve had so many through the years. oddly enough, they were worse back when i was still super ashamed and “in denial” about my fetishes. once i accepted them, they stopped. but i kind of miss them tbh.

one of the earliest i can remember is of finding a dead, disemboweled boy in the hallway outside of my bedroom. i stuck my hands in his guts and felt them up for a bit, before quickly experiencing “oh shit” levels of panic, at which point i picked the body up bridal-style and stowed it in a dumpster a few blocks away from my house.

then, i had one where i was kneeling in an alleyway with a female corpse propped up against my chest, kissing and fingering her. i still remember the way it felt, and how cold she was. the whole dream smelled of gasoline for some reason too.

my longest and most anxiety-inducing dream of all was probably the one about strangling a woman during sex, burying her body in the woods, and then moving back home with family to put as much distance between the crime scene and myself as possible. i made it about three, maybe four months before there was an article in the news about the body being found. and somehow, inexplicably, my family instantly figured out that it was me. i woke up on the verge of vomiting after that.

randomly enough, i’ve also dreamt of gurochan a few times, just browsing the boards. and then i wake up and feel disappointed that all of the artworks i dreamt of don’t exist irl.