Hi OP, I am a transgender sex worker, 27 yo and saw your post. I used to spend a lot of time on this site 10 years ago before I transitioned. Funny enough someone from this site actually told me at the time to maybe transition but I didn’t listen to her and didn’t figure it out until many years later

I was seeing an older client on Thursday morning this week who wanted to cross dress and have me top him. He gave me $1250 for doing it

To answer your question, this fantasy of yours makes no sense in real life because trans women don’t actually want to top men. Like in my case, there’s no enjoyment I get from doing that, and in fact I find it depressing, but nonetheless it’s good money

I get why you would want to ask this though, because I had the same fantasy as you 10 years ago. I wanted to be topped but I didn’t find any appeal in the idea of two men being together. I preferred imagining it would be a futanari, even though I never thought that would be real life, just imaginary

A few years later though I did just start letting men fuck me, even though I wasn’t into them. I realized it didn’t matter, I was into getting topped, so who really cares if it’s a man or a woman. And it didn’t have to be any more complicated than that

A few more years went by, and I moved to the city. Later that year I met a trans girl for the first time, who I matched with me on tinder. I ended up falling in love with her, even though she didn’t reciprocate. And to clarify, no she never topped me, because she never wanted to. She was the girl, I was the guy, so she only ever bottomed

But after that I finally realized the truth about myself, that I’m a woman and have always been a woman. I didn’t like topping that trans girl any more than I did with cis women… it was fine, an ego boost always to get some pussy but it didn’t really feel amazing like good sex should. On the other hand, getting fucked felt like everything to me.

I’ve since realized that I actually am not into women at all, including trans women, and I never sexually was into any women in the first place. The reality is I am a straight trans woman, I really only like having sex with straight men. Gay men weird me out. I need someone traditionally masculine who can last or I’m not into it. I love me a stud too, one of the guys I was seeing earlier this year would fuck me for literally like 5 hours straight before he could feel satisfied. Dude was a monsterrrr

What I didn’t realize when I was younger was like, I never really wanted to be the man with a woman, or the man with a man. What I always wanted and needed was to be the woman with a man.

It’s unfortunate that I’m not lesbian because then I might be able to have a decent life at least. Idk, I tried to date other trans women a lot of times but it never worked out and I don’t think it’s for me. And definitely not cis women, no thank you ew

But yea, I was trying to find a boyfriend for a few years but have kinda realized that’s never going to happen either. The only guys that want me it’s just because they want some pussy and know that trans are slutty enough to do it casually. Or because they want me to top them, which I don’t want to do at all

Which is why I started doing sex work, because if I’m giving it out for free I may as well charge

I’ve really really tried to figure out some other aspects of my life as well like my career, I did a degree in science and published 3 papers when I was younger, but found I didn’t care about science enough or believe in it. Same with music, I did music for like 10 years and had some really great memories from it.

But in the end nothing has ever stuck with me. I’ve never been able to keep any of the people I met in my life, or any of the skills I learned.

I dreamed of moving back to California for so long, and I’m gonna be having bottom surgery next year, if I live that long. Which would be amazing, but I’m also terrified of the healing.

Idk, I know I need to go back to working with kids this year because I do think that’s my calling in life. But I’m so tired, and scared, to be honest I don’t want a next chapter anymore. I just want to be done

Earlier today I went downtown and was trying to get in to some really tall hotels and office buildings to try and get to the elevator but they kept stopping me in the front area. I’m just, done with everything, I think I have lived enough now. I think I just need to lie to the people in the hotel and act confidently next time so I can get to the elevator and go up to the top. We’ll see, maybe I can go back downtown soon and try again

Idk in the meantime I thought I’d check this site and saw ur post and so I thought I’d comment

If you don’t believe me I can literally send you my Tryst page which is set to $800/h right now. My body turned out better than I ever could have hoped, I never thought I would have a chest like this when I’m so thin. But I don’t care anymore…I’m a girl, so it’s kinda just normal yknow. A stupid girl unfortunately, or I would know better than to have sex before having a committed boyfriend. But that ship has definitely sailed now smh