this thread is very interesting, thank you all. I can relate to almost everything that has been said so far.
me, I began experimenting with bondage around the age of 6 and have no idea why. I'm very sure, that nothing ever happened to me and
nobody did something to me, got lucky with a nice childhood. maybe some very early Disney movies and a notion about damsels in distress.
I remember jerking off to my own fantasy, even before sperm came out. started playing with rope and tape, making the experience more intense,
later trying out suspensions and such. then, in high school I got my paws on a copy of "The Adventures of Sweet Gwendoline" by John Willie. oh boy!
especially this page (see att. pic) was next level and kept my imagination busy until finally the internet became available, some years later. boom. 🤯

even before that, there was a healthy exchange of floppy disks going on, just a handful of very low-res pics, b/w, later color
and at the time I began drawing some ropes and needles and such on vanilla porn pics, to make them more spicy.

finally online, I began collecting mostly vanilla at first, because bondage or even harder stuff was incredibly hard to find.
sadly I became aware of newsgroups only much later, or I might have had the chance to communicate with Dolcett himself.
infamous "farmers daughter bbs and such..." one of the first great sites I came across was called "Talons Eyrie" with pictures, links and a lot
of information about bdsm. at last some great b/w torture art by the bishop, ashely, DeMentia, Farrell and of course Dolcett(!) yeah!
shortly after, I stumbled upon tsepesi, still running his own website at the time, but already mentioning, how much hatred he received for his art.
the images turned my stomach. all that color and precision, you could almost smell the blood. but I had to return, it was just too fascinating.

using a modem at first, there wasn't a snowballs chance in hell to get videos. I mean, you could literally go pee, make coffee, walk the dog and mow the lawn,
while waiting for a single page with thumbnails to build up. yuck. but things got faster.
Insex. Hogtied. (today kink.com) Dan Hawke. especially the boldness and creativeness of PD (INSX) has my utmost respect, what a pioneer!
much later motherless and PKF.

along the way I found gurochan. the homepage states, that it was founded in 2004. would have thought years before that, but I must remember it wrong.
so I've been lurking around here pretty much from the get-go.

for me, there are several different levels of interest.
the porn-part is mainly about intensity and emotion. hanging, impalement, burning, electrocution, chains, needles, amputations, torture and
the anticipation of death. actually vanilla porn still works for me too, but all of the mentioned in an extremely narrow window, it has to be the right
atmosphere, the tiniest detail can ruin everything.

I am also very interested in how the human mind works and why. what will they come up with next? fascinating!
And I do have an appreciation for art. from that point of view I like to look at the blood and guts, necro, beheadings, eyesocket-fucks and all that,
if it is creative and does tell an interesting story. ah, yes literature too. just don't find the time to read as much as I would like.
furry stuff is not my cup of tea, but for some reason furry art is more often than not of very high artistic quality and that does interest me.
same with the freakshow. and I actually do like some scat, but only as an expression of helplessness and losing control, as in the japanese bdsm forced
enema torture and such.

I do not think, that any of it is perverted. From what? Taking a closer look at human interests, ideas and behavior, there are so many nuances,
that the notion of "normal" is just ridiculous. It is all part of nature, even though some interests, or sexual cravings may be more rare than others.
That is - as long as it is a fantasy and expression of such. The moment it turns to real life, it becomes a problem.
Still doesn't mean it's not "normal". It is just not acceptable, breaking the social contract and/or laws. Those are there for good reason (mostly).
checks, balances and so on. Of course, you can always take a hammer to your forehead and - if you survive - become something else, not normal anymore.
same can be achieved by drugs or illness, so there's that.

Though I do dislike people in general, 'cause people are idiots, especially in groups, I'd consider myself well adjusted by society's standards.
I never had the slightest urge to act on any fantasy IRL and I do not think that the interest in gore, sexual or not, makes one a bad person.
I like to believe, that this is true for almost everyone here. Not even sure if it works the other way around, meaning if you really are a bad person
(assuming that something like good and bad actually exists, which is a whole different discussion) would you be interested in coming here and looking
at art, instead of spending your time plotting your real-life evil schemes? Who knows.
I think it is just as likely, that someone who actually does have the urge to act out something in real life may be able to restrain himself
by turning to active imagination. GUROchan actually helps saving lives and should be government-funded, not constantly attacked.
Judging by the last few thousand years of human "civilization", those zealots, fanatics and haters are a much bigger problem than
people jerking off to blood, guts and such. But that is of course normal.