>>11038
Oh wow I have schizoaffective and BPD as well and I've been hospitalized twice for suicidal intent and then severe paranoia. I also skip my antipsychotics cause they DRAIN me.
I guess I'll give my two cents on this discourse as well.
Personally I don't really like people who make mental disorders into fetishes but I guess I'm a hypocrite because I personally want to be permanently institutionalized and for some ass-backwards reason want my symptoms to all worsen. Even worse, I almost constantly want to be raped and abused because that was a pretty big part of my childhood and I've tried to talk people into killing me.
Like, I fantasize all the time about getting kidnapped and beaten so badly that I get "broken", and then being restrained and fucked to death. That's probably caused by BPD but for anyone else to be into someone because they're "crazy" is kinda gross and makes it seem like they don't know much about mental illness. I have delusions and dealing with that isn't fun or cute: it's really annoying and it's put a strain on my relationships.

That said, if anyone wants to rape/kill me, hmu