Finally made myself go through the second chapter.

Turns out there are plenty of mistakes / liberties in the old translation:

- When Ayaka checks Sora's temperature she concludes he seems to NOT have a fever

- Wait, who's Ayaka? Turns out Onee-chan has a name, which we learn on page 27 (now that I look at it, the translation also removed the page numbers)

- She's not saying anything about teacher coming to their place, she's saying she's heading out for morning practice

- Page 21 is missing in this thread's upload of the translation, although it exists on sad panda or nhentai

- In the missing page in the old translation Ayaka is saying "I know this is messed up... but chopping off heads is the ultimate thrill". The text I got in this place is "I'm... a pervert who gets off to murder... Cutting people down feels the best." It may seem like not a lot of difference, but: 1) while she calls herself a pervert, to me it doesn't come off as judgmental as "I know this is messed up", 2) she admits right away it's sexual, while in the old translation she just says it's messed up and a thrill, 3) she doesn't specify chopping heads off, so we can imagine she can do other kinds of cuts too.

- Where the old translation says "My boss told me to do you. We must stop this, though", she's actually saying "I've already cleared it with Sensei. Sora, let's stop this." That is, she discussed it with Sensei and Sensei said it's okay for them to not go through with it.

- Then when she says "there's no way I could behead my own brother", she starts it with "as an older sister". This is important, because Sora's respond isn't "You're saying we have to stop, but I know you want to it. I know you want to cut off my head!" His real response is: "Not as an older sister. What about you yourself, Onee-chan? My neck... don't you want to cut it?" As in, protecting her little brother is her duty as an older sister, but he's asking her to not think of that role and think of what she herself wants as a person.

- "No, if I go any further, I'll..." -> "No good... just imagining it... feels like I'm gonna cum..."

- "If you really want to behead me... enough with these games!" -> "Thinking about being cut down by Onee-chan... already made me like this..."

- "I want sis to chop off my head!" -> I want to be killed by Onee-chan. (doesn't specify chopping the head... not like they're implying a possibility of change of plans, but the words "chop off my head" aren't there, the words "be killed" are.)

- "And I will kill Sora!!" -> okay, this one is hard to express in English, but I wrote it as "Me too... I want to grant Sora's death." Specifically, she says "koroshite agetai" which is like "want to give the killing" rather than just want to kill.

- Ayaka: "Yes, I'm watching" -> "Yeah, I will watch Sora's loss of virginity."

- "Yes, I'm feeling..." -> "Somehow, me too..."

- "Pull yourself together! He'll come soon." -> "Pull yourself together, Ayaka-chan, Sora-kun is already about to cum." This is where we learn that Onee-chan's name is Ayaka. Sensei calls her Ayaka-chan a couple more times in the story, but it seems like the English translation left her name out?

- "I have to do it! I have to cut off his head!" -> "That's right, I have to cut off Sora's head." (she's not gathering resolve, she's regaining focus after being distracted by her own horniness)


- "Sora! I'm ready." -> well, technically she's saying "Sora!! It's okay now," but the implication is that it's okay for him to cum because she's ready, so I guess it works.

- "Now! Do it now, sis!" -> "It's coming out, Onee-chan... Now!" He doesn't have to repeat "now" twice for her to act.

- "Cumming... I can't..." -> "The feeling of cumming just keeps goung... Hya!! It won't stop."

- "I should be dead! My head is off yet I feel amazing!" -> "Even though I'm already dying, even though my head's been cut off... What do I do? It feels so gooood!!"

- "I can still feel" -> "Can you still feel it even as a severed head?" (probably). It's a speech bubble and not a thought bubble, so it can't be Sora's. Literally it says "Even as a living head, can still feel?" Living head (namakubi) is a Japanese term known as "freshly decapitated head" on pixiv, describing a head that was just decapitated and is still alive.

- "Sis, you look so happy" -> "Onee-chan... seems to feel so good..."

- "That's right, Sora! While fucking your corpse... I'll have myself killed!!" -> "I've always... yearned for this... while having sex with Sora's corpse... ...to commit seppuku!"

- "I'm sorry boss, but could I ask for your help?" -> "Sorry, Sensei, I won't be able to assist you anymore."

- "I think I already know what you have in mind..." -> "Somehow I had a feeling it would become like this." (literally: Somehow I had a feeling of "won't it become like this".)

- "Harakiri... I'm really committing harakiri!" -> she's saying seppuku, not harakiri

- "the feeling... pain..." -> "Agh... the pain... makes my vagina spasm..."

- "Uhhgh... his corpse came again..." -> Ah... no bay (no way)... Sora's... body... is cumming again

- "Sis! She is next to me..." -> "Onee-chan, more closer, me with Onee-chan..."

- "Teacher..." -> "Sensei, [move] us [closer]..." Japanese puts the verb after the object, so the object "us" is what's actually said, and we have to guess from the context that the verb must be "move closer". However leaving it as just "Sensei" doesn't convey that she's asking her to do something rather than just randomly calling her, so I think it could be something like "Sensei, move us..." or something.

- "You two look so happy now. I've never seen such a wonderful death" -> "The two of you... were absolutely wonderful. I've never seen such a beautiful death."

- "Thank you for waiting, Sora. Should we go together, sis?" -> these are speech bubbles, not though bubbles, so it's Sensei talking. She's saying "I kept you waiting, didn't I, Sora-kun? (could be adapted as: Sorry to have kept you waiting, Sora-kun) Go together with your onee-chan."

- "Just as you wished for..." -> "To tell the truth, Ayaka-chan"

- "But when... you asked me so nicely to kill you..." -> "Because if it was you... I thought you'd kill me beautifully..." (she's saying Ayaka would be the perfect successor because of all people Ayaka would be able to kill Sensei beautifully)
***
Full translation draft:

019

空～～そろそろ起きないと遅刻するよ
Sora, if you don't get up soon, you're gonna be late.

ん？どうかした？
Hm? What's the matter?

．．．．．別に
...Nothing

ちょっとこっち向いて
Turn this way for a moment.

熱はないみたいね．．．
It looks like there's no fever...

Title: 他殺志願 2
Applicant for Death 2

あたし朝練あるから先に出るね
I have morning practice, so I'm leaving first.

ご飯用意してあるからちゃんと食べて来るのよ
I've prepared breakfast for you, so make sure you eat it.
020

ごめんお姉ちゃん
Sorry, Onee-chan

SFX: どき どき
thump thump (heartbeat)

僕．．．．．．今日死ぬんだ．．．．．．
I'm... going to die today......

うっ！！
Urgh!

SFX: びゅくっ びゅるっ
Squirt, spurt

井上空です
This is Inoue Sora.

これから死にます
I'm going to die now.
021

空君の希望は「セックスして射精の瞬間首を刎ねられる」
セッケスの相手は私でいいの？
Sora-kun's wish is "while having sex to have the head chopped off at the moment of ejaculatiion".
Will I do for the sex partner?

はいお願いします
Yes, please.

私一人じゃ空君とセックスしながら首を刎ねるのは無理なのでお手伝いを呼んであるわ
All by muself I can't chop off Sora-kun's head while having sex, so I've called some help. (called an assistant)

剣道部の主将で今までも時々手伝ってもらってたの空君も知ってる人よ
She's a kendo club captain who also helped (assisted) me occasionally in the past, and also someone Sora-kun knows.

お姉ちゃん！！
Onee-chan!!

嘘！！ど．．．どうして！？
No way!! W... why!?

空．．．
Sora...

今まで隠していてごめんなさい
I'm sorry for having kept it hidden until now.

私．．．．．殺人淫楽症の変態なの．．．
I'm... a pervert who gets off to murder...

人を斬ると最高に気持ちいいの
Cutting people down feels the best. (literally: is the best feel-good)
022

先生には了解を取ってあるわ
I've already cleared it with Sensei. (cleared = got permission)

空こんな事やめましょう
Sora, let's stop this.

お姉ちゃん．．．．．．
Onee-chan......

姉として自分の弟を斬るなんてできない
As an older sister, I can't possibly cut down my own brother.

．．．．．．．．
........

姉としてじゃなく
Not as an older sister,

お姉ちゃん自身はどうなの？
僕の首．．．．．．斬りたくないの？
What about you yourself, Onee-chan?
My neck... don't you want to cut it?

空の．．．．．．首．．．．
Sora's... neck...

だめ．．．．．．想像しただけで．．．．イきそう．．
No good... just imagining it... feels like I'm gonna cum...

僕もだよお姉ちゃん
Me too, Onee-chan

お姉ちゃんに斬られるって思ったら．．．
Thinking about being cut down by Onee-chan...

もうこんなに．．．
already made me like this...
023

空．．．．．．
Sora...

すごい．．．
amazing...

あっ！！お姉ちゃんダメ！！
Ah!! Onee-chan, stop!!

そんな事したら．．．！！
If you do such a thing...!!

空のおちんちん
Sora's dick

熱くてびくびくしてる！！
is hot and twitching!!

ああっお姉ちゃん
A-ah... Onee-chan

出ちゃうっ！！
It's coming out!!

SFX: びゅっ

SFX: どぷっ！！
024

あ．．．．．．
Ah...

ああ．．．．．
A-ah...

SFX: びくっ びくっ びくっ ひくっ


お姉ちゃん．．．
Onee-chan...

．．．．．空．．．．．
...Sora...

どうする？空君
What will you do? Sora-kun.

やめてもいいのよ
It's okay to stop.

やります僕お姉ちゃんに殺されたい
We'll do it. I want to be killed by Onee-chan.

私も．．．．．空を殺してあげたい
Me too... I want to grant Sora's death.

いいのね．．．
So be it, then...
025

いい？入れるわよ空君
Ready? I'm putting it in, Sora-kun.

はいお願いします先生
Yes, please do, Sensei.

見ててお姉ちゃん
Look, Onee-chan.

僕初めてセックスするよ
I'm having my first sex!

うん見ててあげる空の童貞喪失
Yeah, I will watch Sora's loss of virginity.

ふわあぁっ！！
Fuwaaah!!

なにこれ！！ぬるぬるして締め付ける！！
What is this!? So wet and tight!!
026

どう？空君これが女の体よ
How's that? Sora-kun, this is a woman's body.

ああっ先生！！気持ちいいです
A-ah, Sensei!! It feels good.

あっ
Ah!

あっ
Ah!

ああ．．．．．空．．．あんなに気持ちよさそう
A-ah... Sora... looks like he feels so good.

なんだかあたしも．．．
Somehow, me too...
027

うくっ！！
Urgh!!

綾香ちゃんしっかりして空君もうイきそうよ
Pull yourself together, Ayaka-chan, Sora-kun is already about to cum.

は．．．はい
Y... yes!

そうよ私は空の首を斬ってあげなくちゃ
That's right, I have to cut off Sora's head.

空！！いいわよ
Sora!! It's okay now. [meaning: it's okay to cum now, I'm ready to chop your head off]

お姉ちゃん僕もう．．．！
Onee-chan, I'm already...!

あうっ出てる！！
Oh! It's coming out!!

出てるよお姉ちゃんい．．．今！！
It's coming out, Onee-chan... Now!
028

あ!!
Ah!!
029

SFX: ゴロ
rolling

あ．．．ああっっ！！
Ah... A-ah!!

射精してる感覚がそのまま続いて．．．ひぁっ！！止まらない
The feeling of cumming just keeps goung... Hya!! It won't stop.

もう死んじゃうのに首斬られたのに．．．どうしよう気持ちいいよぉ！！
Even though I'm already dying, even though my head's been cut off... What do I do? It feels so gooood!!

あっ空君のおちんちん．．．まだ射精してるっ．．．
Ah, Sora-kun's dick... still cumming...

僕の体．．．まだ動いてる
My body... still moving

空．．．．．．空の首．．
Sora... Sora's head...

ああ．．．空．．まだ生きてる？
A-ah... Sora... still alive?

生首でも感じる？
Can you still feel it even as a severed head?

お姉ちゃん...
Onee-chan...
030

ああっ！！空っ！！そらぁ！！
A-ah!! Sora!! Soraaa!!

イっちゃう！！あたし弟の生首でイっちやうよぉ！！！
I'm cumming!! I'm cumming from my little brother's severed head!!

お姉ちゃん．．．気持ちよさそう．．．
Onee-chan... seems to feel so good...

ああ．．．
A-ah...

暗く．．．なって．．．
Getting... dark...
031

．．．．．くん．．．．聞こえる？空君
...-kun... Can you hear me? Sora-kun.

！？
!?

僕．．．死んだはずじゃ
I... was supposed to be dead.

ごめんね死ぬ前にもうちょっと付き合って
Sorry, before dying please stay with us a little longer.

！！
!!

これ．．．何？管が．．．？
What is this? A tube?

人口心肺で血液を送り込んでいるの
We're pumping your blodd with a heart-lung machine.
(人口心肺 is a typo of 人工心肺 "heart-lung machine", it's spelled correctly later on page 32)

もちろん時的なものだけど意識を保っていられるわ
Of course, it's only temrorary, but you can remain conscious.

綾香ちゃんが空君に見て欲しいって言うから
Because Ayaka-chan said she wanted Sora-kun to see.

あっ
Ah!

あ．．．
Ah...

お姉ちゃん！？何を．．．．．．
Onee-chan!? What are you...
032

ずっと．．．．．．憧れてたの．．．．空の死体とセックスしながら
I've always... yearned for this... while having sex with Sora's corpse

はあ はあ
ha-a, ha-a

．．．．．．．切腹するの
...to commit seppuku!

ごめんなさい先生もう先生のお手伝いできなくなります
Sorry, Sensei, I won't be able to assist you anymore.

なんとなくこうなるんじゃないかと思っていたわ
Somehow I had a feeling of "won't it become like this".
Somehow I had a feeling it would become like this.

だから人工心肺装置も用意したのよ
That's why I had the heart-lung machine prepared.

ありがとう先生．．．
Thank you, Sensei...

じゃあ．．．！切腹します
Alright..! I will commit seppuku.

見ててね空．．．
Watch me, Sora...

見てるよ！！見たいよお姉ちゃんの切腹
I'm watching! I want to see Onee-chan's seppuku!

空．．．．．．
Sora...
033

ぅはっ！！
Uha!!!

いっ．．．．．．たぁ．．．
It... hurts...

うくっ．．．．．
Ugh...

はっ
Ha...

あ．．．
Ah...
034

はーっ
Haa!

せ．．．っ．．せっぷく．．．．．
Se... p... seppuku...

あたし．．．．．．ほんとに．．．．．．せっぷくしてる
I'm... really... committing seppuku...

はーっ
Haa!

あう．．．痛みで．．．膣が痙攣．．して．．
Agh... the pain... makes my vagina spasm...

そら．．．のおちんちん．．．気持ちいい
Sora's... dick... feels good.

ああ
A-ah

あ
Ah

あふぁ
Ahfah
035

おぎいいい
Ogi-i-i-i!!

あ．．．．．うぞ．．．
Ah... no bay... (no way)

そらの．．．カラダ．．また射精してる
Sora's... body... is cumming again

ああ．．．．．．そら．．．．．もう
A-ah... Sora... I can't anymore...

せん．．．せい
介．．．錯を．．．
Sen... sei
do the kaishaku...

いいのね綾香ちゃん
Very well, Ayaka-chan.
036

SFX: ドッ
Chop!

SFX: びゅるっ びゅるっ
squirt squirt
037

Sfx: びくっ びくっ
twitch twitch

Sfx: ぼとっ
Thud

お姉ちゃん．．．
Onee-chan...

ああ．．．．．そら．．．．空といっしょだよ
A-ah... Sora... I'm together with Sora!

SFX: ぽく ぽく
wriggle wriggle
(helpless gentle motion as if she's trying to move but can't - according to DeepSeek)

お姉ちゃんもっと近くに僕お姉さゃんと
Onee-chan, more closer, me with Onee-chan...

先生僕達を．．．
Sensei, [move] us [closer]...
(Japanese puts the verb after the object, so the object "us" is what's actually said, and we have to guess from the context that the verb must be "move closer")

最期にキスをしたいのね
Want to kiss at the end, don't you?

どう？
How's that?

ああ．．．先生ありがとう
A-ah... Sensei, thank you.
038

空．．．．．そらぁ．．．．．
Sora... Soraaa...

ああ お姉ちゃん大好きだよ
A-ah... Onee-chan, I love you so much!

SFX: くちゅっ
smooch

SFX: めるっ
slurp

二人とも．．．最高に素敵だったわ
The two of you... were absolutely wonderful.

こんなすばらしい死を見たのは初めてよ
I've never seen such a beautiful death.

待たせたわね空君
I kept you waiting, didn't I, Sora-kun?
(Sorry to have kept you waiting, Sora-kun)

お姉ちゃんといっしょに逝きなさい
Go together with your onee-chan.

ほんと言うとね綾香ちゃん
To tell the truth, Ayaka-chan
039

あなたには私の跡を継いでもらいたかったわ
I wanted you to take over as my successor.

あなたなら．．．
Because if it was you...

私を素敵に殺してくれると思ったから．．．
I thought you'd kill me beautifully...