>>13219
The problem is you're a shitty writer. Your characters barely react to anything that happens to them. They're bloodless, feel no pain, and barely have personalities or emotions.

Worse yet, you're clearly fapping as you write, because characters basic fucking positioning is barely ever consistent. A girl will get pushed the ground on her back and then have a dog fucking her in the ass without any explanation of how they're positioned or any sort of transitional actions. It actually makes me feel terrible that I've masturbated to your writing. It's some of the worst I've read, and I've read shitty fapfiction.

Here's something decently written:
http://pastebin.com/0qFM7qfp
http://pastebin.com/LzrXwRB2