Hello, I'm Poguemahone. You might remember me from such stories as "A Cunning Plan", "Berty's Watch", "Applebloom Lends a Hand" and "The Interview".

So I've not really been updating a lot. This has happened before. The stories I write are fantasies I dream up, then put to paper. Sometimes I try to be smart and high-concept and end up writing stories that aren't genuine fantasies, and that never works. So I took a break, and thought of a really dumb idea that made me laugh, but I still think it's hot. So here we are, just to get me back into the writing mood.

Also: finally going with a username. Keep an eye out for it!

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Fun with Faeries

Tim really couldn’t wait to get home. Today had been, quite frankly, awful. A late shift in the shitty retail store he worked in had drained him of most of his energy. He had spent the whole day on the check-outs, having inane conversations at the best of times and actively wishing for death the rest of the time. When the store had finally closed he had practically flown away. At least tomorrow he would be free to indulge in his main activities these days, mainly surfing the web and masturbating (possibly both at once).

As poor Tim walked home to his lonely little apartment, he couldn’t help but feel more and more down. Life had taken a dramatic downhill turn for him in the last few months. Most of his friends had moved to the bigger cities around the country, his parents were distant and he hadn’t gotten laid in years. He was putting on weight from the junk food he was eating, and it wasn’t like he was one to go to the gym. If he didn’t work practically full-time in a job he hated he would be out on the streets. Tim knew that he needed his luck to change. Maybe he should finally buy a guitar and learn it. Maybe he could play the starving artist part. He had half of it down already.

The sky looked down on him disapprovingly. A few stars had shown up despite everything. One in particular was shining particularly hard, as if it was trying to communicate some alien message. Tim stared up at it, almost tripping on a loose piece of pavement as he walked. A thought struck him, and he laughed and shook his head, but the thought remained: “When you wish upon a star…”

“…Fuck it…” he murmured, shrugging sadly. He mumbled his little wish under his breath. Nothing happened, of course, but he felt a little better for it. Then he went home.

Tim’s apartment was bare and dirty. He locked the door, navigated his way past the clothes that past-Tim had dumped onto the floor, and entered his bedroom. He collapsed onto the messy sheets of his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He slid a hand down his pants with one hand and browsed his piece-of-shit phone with the other, not even bothered to get his laptop up from the floor beside him. He was too tired to even masturbate properly. He found his eyes getting heavier and heavier, and before long he had dozed off.

When he awoke, Tim felt a strange warmth on his face. Blinking and shaking his head, he opened his eyes, and gradually he became aware of a strange light, yellow and faint, that was permeating the room. He sat up, and seen that the light was coming from the window. In actual fact, it seemed to be coming from…the stars? No. Maybe this was a dream. A really boring dream where he was still a loser in a shit apartment, but still. He crawled over to the window and peered out.

Something was coming towards him.

Tim shot back, breathing hard. What on earth was happening? He waited a few seconds before peering back out again. Yes, something humanoid shaped, arriving at speed. It appeared to be sparkling. As it got closer, Tim could see that it was female, clad in a sort of silvery dress, and had a pair of translucent little wings on its back. It also became very apparent very quickly that this…thing, whatever it was…was very small. In just a few more seconds, the strange being flew past the statue-like Tim and into the apartment. He whipped around, watching as it flew little figure-eights in the air, leaving a shimmering trail as it went, before landing on his desk.

“Why hi there!” said the figure.

“What.” Said Tim. She giggled exaggeratedly-she was like a cartoon. In fact, she reminded Tim very much of Tinkerbell from Peter Pan. She must have been only about 6 inches high.

“Why so surprised?” she asked. “You made a wish, right? A wish for a little cheer, a little spark, for something…magical to happen? Well, mister, you’re gonna get your wish! The name’s Fay! Fay the Faerie, at your service!”

Tim stared back. Fay giggled again.

“Aren’t you gonna introduce yourself, mister?” she asked.

“Oh, uh…Tim! I’m Tim. My name is Tim. Uh…” he managed.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Tim!” said Fey the Fairie. She stuck a tiny hand out. Tim attempted to shake it, clumsily using his whole hand to do so. A loud crunching sound was heard. Tim felt her bones snap in his clutch, and he shot back.

“Oh no, so sorry! I didn’t…please don’t…I…” he spluttered. Fay looked down at her mangled arm with a frown. The hand was hanging loosely at the joint, and the elbow was facing the wrong way. Tutting, she shook her head at the mortified human.

“Now that was just plain silly of you. Ok, so I usually never have to explain this, but since you just went and made a boo-boo with my arm, I’m going to let you in on a secret. You listening?” Tim nodded. The little creature didn’t seem to be in any real pain as she spoke. “Fairy’s may be small, but we can survive almost anything. The one thing we need is belief. Long as there are humans out there clapping their hands and saying “I believe”, we’ll be right as rain. Give it a try, Tim!”.

“Uh…ok.” Feeling a bit childish, Tim clapped his hands. “I believe.” There was a flash of light, and Fae’s arm had magically mended.

She stretched it a little, before smiling up at Tim. “See? Neat, huh?”

Tim stared down. He had started to sweat. Fey was an attractive little thing, her silver dress just revealing enough to show that she wasn’t wearing a bra. He hadn’t been able to relieve himself for a whole day, which was a long time by his standards. He could feel himself stirring beneath his trousers, and he shifted uncomfortably.
“So uh…what are you here to…do?” he asked.

“Well, that’s up to you, Tim! We faerie’s just get sent to wherever there’s a boy or girl who wishes upon a star, who needs a little hint of magic in their life! Of course, you’re uh…a bit bigger than what we normally deal with, but a wish is a wish!”

“So…can you, like, use magic? Can you make me rich and famous?”. Fey giggled again. It was beginning to annoy Tim.
“Haha, now hold your horses just a moment, Tim! I can’t just go around doing that to every boy or girl who makes a wish, now can I?”

“Ok, so…are we going to Neverland then, or…”

“Haha, good one, Tim! But don’t believe everything you hear about faeries. We live in a star, obviously!”

“Well…can I come?”

“I don’t know, Tim. Can you fly?”

“Well…no.”

“Then you’re outta luck, friend! Haha!”

Tim sighed and crossed his arms.

“Well what can you do? I dunno, it seems like you’re talking an awfully big game, but you’re not really delivering.”

“N-now now, don’t be sour, mister!” said Fey, her cheerful demeanor faltering for the first time. “It’s just that…well…most kids are just happy to see me, so I give them a little cheer and maybe fly around for them, and then I go on my way, is all…” she explained, tracing a tiny foot around on the desk.

“I’m not a kid.”

“Can see that, Tim. Oh geez, I’m sorry, I’m…I’m not very good at this, am I?” said the fairy. Tim suddenly felt a twang of sympathy for her; she probably wasn’t used to dealing with adults. “I can’t go back without having made someone happy. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

Tim thought very carefully before replying.

“…Anything?”

“You name it, mister.”

“Anything at all?”

“That’s right.”

“Even if it involves…you know…” Tim waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Fey stared at him.

“Not quite following where this is going, Tim.” She said, with complete sincerity. Tim shrugged, and unzipped his fly. He was fairly average in terms of size, but his member was still at least the same height as Fae was. She stared at it wild eyed as he let it dangle a yard in front of her, and the faerie visibly gulped. She looked up at Tim, who held her gaze. He couldn’t help but grin as she took this new information in.

“Oh.” She said, eventually. “Uh…hey now, that’s not really what we’re about…”

“I thought you said you’d do anything to make me happy?” said Tim. “I thought you couldn’t leave until you had?”

“Well…yes, that’s true. Oh, boy, this is all…wow, I’ll level with you, mister, I did not see tonight going in this direction.”

“Well, neither did I.” said Tim cooly. “But it looks like this is happening. Chop chop.”

“Well…ok then...” said Fey. She reached a tiny hand out as Tim leaned forward. He was stiff as a board as her hand made contact with the smooth surface of his cock. She stroked up and down, as if trying to soothe it.

“How am I even going to…do anything?”

“That’s your problem, not mine. Use your imagination.”

“Imagination. Sure. How bout you go lie down there, sport, and I’ll uh…get to work”

Tim walked over to the bed, took his trousers and pants off, and lay down on his back. Fey hovered over and placed a hand on each side. She started to slowly work her hands up and down, which felt vaguely pleasing but not particularly stimulating for the horny human.

“Gonna need a little more than that, Fey.”

“Uh…ok…”

The fairy leaned forward and laid a tentative kiss on the side of Tim’s cock. She worked her way up, her lips as light and soft as a wisp of smoke, until she reached the tip. Without stopping her hands caressing, she started to kiss and lick the bulbous head, and Tim gasped.

“Yeeeah…that’s good…” he said. Fey kept this up for a while, rubbing her body up against his fully erect member, and was eventually rewarded with a glob of pre-cum, which coated her face. She stepped back and wiped her face clean with her hands.
“S-so is that it? Are you happy now?” she asked. Tim laughed.
“Oh, I’m just getting started. If you really want to make me happy, you should take that dress of yours off.” He said, pointing a finger at her silvery clothes, which now sported a few stains. Blushing madly, Fey sighed and slipped out of her dress. She didn’t really have any real tits to speak off, her nipples bright pink on her pale chest, but she had a nice figure, and no body hair to speak off. Tim quickly thrust a finger forward so that it was between her legs, and started to rub.

“W-what the-“

“What, don’t you enjoy this?” asked Tim, as he worked his finger underneath her smooth skin, feeling the hairless slit moisten slightly as contact was made. “I think you do. We can both be happy, tonight.”

“Well…I’ve always wondered…what it would be like if me and a human did anything like this.” Admitted Fey. “ I don’t think we could go all the way thoOOOOH!”she screamed, as she felt the tip of his index finger work its way inside her pussy. She felt a hanf gently but firmly hold her still, and soon she was helpless as he began pumping his finger in and out of her, going further and further inside her every time. Soon he was up to the middle joint, his digit making an obscene bulge in her mid drift. She moaned at the feeling, but he quickly withdrew his finger.

“Looks like fairy’s are a stretchy lot. Or is it just you?” he asked aloud. She could feel the cold air in the gaping hole he had made of her slit-his finger had been pressing up against her cervix, and might have penetrated even that if he had kept at it. Fey suddenly felt herself getting lifted down towards his waiting penis.

“Ready for the main event?” he asked.

“N-now, uh, let’s not do anything hasty!” she pleaded. But it was too late. He slowly guided himself into her hole, inching the head inside. She yelled as she felt her pussy stretch in a way she had never felt before, her legs bending impossibly outwards-she thought she heard her hips snapping to accommodate the thing. Tim slowly started to slide her up and down his rod, as if she was a sex toy. This time his cock barged all the way past her cervix and into her womb, before continuing up, bulging her belly out massively.

“God, it’s tight…” muttered Tim. He felt like cumming almost immediately, and made sure to take things slowly-he didn’t want to shoot his load just yet. He closed his eyes as he worked, his hand moving up and down at speed as he jerked himself off using the fairy’s broken pussy. After a few minutes, he had miraculously not cum yet, and Fey had moaned herself out. He stopped and looked down. His penis was bulging out the skin just beneath her rib cage so that it was in front of her own face. He could support her weight now entirely without having to use his hands-she hung there, impaled on his cock, a faraway look in her eyes.

He slowly slid off, careful not to set himself off, and held her in front of him. The skin of her abdomen was now loose and stretchy, hanging off of her frame slightly. Her pussy gaped a few inches wide, which for a woman her size was quite a sight. Raising her up, he could see all the way up into her womb. He could slide his finger in there without touching the sides, and he did so, stirring it around. Then he wiggled his tongue inside, lapping at her walls and her womb. She tasted sweet, but with a certain something extra, like popping candy. A weak voice spoke:

“Are…we…done?” it asked.

“I’ve still not came.”

“Why…stop?”

“Because I want to try something.” He replied. Fey didn’t even bother protesting as he turned her around and aimed himself at her other hole. This time, instead of gently loosening her up, he simply jammed himself in without any warning or ceremony, practically hilting himself in one go. This time, he aimed more upwards, towards her head. He felt something give, and Fey wretched as something foreign traveled up her throat. He kept going, uncaring, lost in the sensation, as he slowly forced her organs up her torso with his invading cock.

She opened her mouth, and a few loops of intestines fell out, dangling in front of her chest. They kept on coming, soon joined by other organs, some of which simply fell onto the bed with a wet thud. Her heart, lungs and stomach were ejected from her mouth, and soon his cock was traveling up her throat and out of her mouth, covered in a thin veneer of blood. He kept on going, moving her body up and down rapidly, holding her skin tightly against himself. He felt her spine snap in several places, her legs attached only by her stretched out skin as he thrust his head against the roof of her mouth. It didn’t hold up long, and he had soon penetrated her brain, turning it to jelly almost instantly. Finally he was unable to hold his climax back any longer, and he came hard inside her, filling her empty body up with his seed. One eye was forced out of her socket as it travelled into her head, flushing her brains out. He cried out, using her as a condom, before collapsing back into his bed. He was asleep before he knew it, Fey still hanging from his cock.

Fey surveyed the wreck of her body, her internal organs lying in a heap in front of her, heart still beating as if nothing was wrong. She was too tired to move, and was still impaled on Tim’s penis, jaw almost dislocated as it stretched around him, and one her eyes dangling from an optic nerve. Well, as long as he could feel her, he would have to believe in her, right? She would get him to fix it in the morning, assuming he had calmed down and was feeling apologetic. As she drifted off, she had but one thought:

“Human sex is crazy!”