B-b..Because, techi!

(Part 1)

---

-

Looking for jissouseki is relatively easier than one would expect. Like a great rodent population, you find them most populous in the alley-ways and areas around urban housing, behind restaurants and marketplaces, and warehouses and ports. You might find one in your backyard, maybe even within your own home; quietly and sometimes cleverly hiding from sight in the basement or the attic.

But the largest populations comes from the parks. Next to that are the forests or pastures in the countryside. But parks remain the number one way to run across many jissouseki.

I myself have a jissouseki as a pet, along a few to play with for my amusement, if nothing more. Many of these creatures are expendable, to an almost ridicoulous degree. The ones worthy of being pets, and thus entitled to a good life of treats, bedding, love and care, are the smart ones. It foten hard to ever find a jissou smart enough to grace you. But how to tell which ones are the dumb retarded stupid ones from the above average to high in intelligence?

Simple! You just ask them, whenever they waddle up to you by themselves or in a group asking (and in some cases, demanding) you to take them home, why you should.

And watch the spectacular results.

You often find them in large packs of two to twelve. Right now I had been accosted by two jissou. One was obviously a recently grown adult with the responsibilities of a mother to boot. On her arms was a slumbering jissou child, looking exactly like a miniature, but cuter, version of herself.

"Hello Mr. Man!"

I smile, quietly humoring her, "Hello little jissou."

"Is my daughter not cute, desu?" She asked, her brightly colored eyes glowing with anticipation.

"Yes," I replied honestly, "She looks so very cute!"

"Am I not cute too, techi?"

I raise an eyebrow and bluntly replied, "You are ugly. I don't know how your kid lives whenever she wakes up to your face. And frankly, you smell worse than a horse that died on crack."

The mother stared at me, red and green tears welling up in her large eyes. She wiped some away with an arm, now openly crying, "I'm not ugly, desu! I'm a pretty jissou Mama, desu! You are a mean jerk, desu!"

"Ha! Me, mean? That may be so Jissou Mama, but I am honest!" I replied with a snort of laughter, "Your daughter is cute, you are not!"

"I AM cute! You are lying desu," screeched the mother, now angry, gnashing her teeth and her face going splotchy red. The jissou child woke up with a cry and immediatly began weeping, "Too loud, techi! I'm scared, techaaa~!"

"LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID, DESU! YOU MADE JISSOU-CHAN CRY!" shouted the jissou at the top of her lungs. The outburst only served to make me guffaw louder and the child to bawl even louder. There was a soft impact on my leg and I saw the child falling from my ankle onto my shoe, her expression was one of disbelieving shock from being thrown. It didn't take long for the small ball of shit between her ass and the panties to squeeze through like guacamole through a cheesecloth.

"You just threw your only child at me," I supplied easily to the angry panting mother, whose eyes wept tears of emotional despair, "You could've killed her. How does that make you feel Jissou-Chan? That your Mama doesn't love you?"

Freshly outraged, the mother seemed speechless. Though she did make some odd sounds in her shock of my accusation. The child on my shoe was bawling and wept even harder as it shook it's head, "Mama loves me! She does! Mama does love me, techa!"

I bend down easily and said quietly and soothingly, speaking cruelties to the jissouseki, "But she threw you, used you as a weapon to hurt me! She is jealous of you, you're young and cute, she is ugly and old! She hates you."

The child shook it's head, unable to believe the words from the human, but even as she denied it all, her mother's antics did not prove to encourage her child to believe her any more than the human.

"I AM NOT UGLY, DESA! I AM NOT OLD," screamed the jissouseki hoarsely, her face now sallow and red with rage and mouth with spittle, "YOU ARE A BAD MAN, DESU! YOU ARE A MEAN LIAR, DESU! I'M NOT LETTING YOU HAVE MY DAUGHTER, DESU!"

I smile and snorted, discreetly slipping on gloves. "You ARE ugly. You ARE old. I am not a liar. You just nearly killed your child. You are a bad mother, so I will take care of my new Jissou-Chan!"

The jissouseki's eyes nearly popped with freshly brewed anger, veins growing from out of her green hoodie as I pick up her child, who still wept, oblivious to the chaos around her. I look around, noting that the mother had not noticed the large crowd around us. A sizable number of jissouseki had gathered, many of them children and mid-mature jissou-children. The rest were a few adults leading a family of kids and maggots, the latter riding on the children or with an older sibling clutched in their mother's hands as they all seemed to sense an upcoming slaughter and hungrily anticipating it.

Grinning to myself I made a slashing motion to my throat and pointed at the still crying child in my gloved hands. The mother noticed the 'Bad Jissouseki' Gloves and the threat to her daughter, but her rage overrode her senses and she began screaming obscenities and launched herself at me, "I ATE YOU, DESU! YOU ARE A BAD MAN, DESU! GIVE BACK MY DAUGHTER DESU! IF YOU-"

I kicked the screaming bitch in the face, silencing her more effectively than the can of mace in my back
pocket. Not that I was going to use it on her just yet.

"My face, desu! My cute beautiful face! What have I done to you?" Screamed the mother as she writhed on the ground, her voice slightly muffled from broken teeth and the arms around her face.

"You attacked me," I replied easily, "Here I am being nice and you make your own baby cry! You attack me. You are clearly not a good mother to this child!"

She protested feebly, this time the circle of jissou numbered around a dozen or so. They soon joined in an orgy of yelling and throwing things at the wounded mother. I knelt down to the mother and the jissou stopped to watch what happened next.

"I...I hate you, desu!" said the mother weakly, "Give back Jissou-Chan, now!" I raised an eyebrow, "Do you want to go back to Mama, little jissou?"

The jissou hiccuped, blinking wet eyes at me as she swallowed the question. She wiped away her tears and spoke in a frail voice: "Ugly stupid Mama hate me! She will kill me! Please don't let her, techi! Please Mr. Man!"

The jissou Mama let out a howl of fury, that soon became yells of pain as I quickly sprayed a few seconds of Mace into her face.

"It burns, DESU! IT BURNS!"

The jissou writhed on the ground, her face slowly turning blue as she tried to inhale, only to find that, like most jissou, she had an allergic reaction to mace.

The horde surged forward and began feasting on the dying jissou.

As I watched with slight amusement, the young pest gulped and looked up at me from my glove. "Nice human say he will take care of me. Will you take me home?"

Some of the jissouseki protested this at once. A few still had body parts in their hands as they tried to get me to take them home.

"Take my family home, desu! We eat very little and are good jissou!"

"I'm a good jissou and Maggot-Chan and Onee-Chan are-"

"Me, me, me-"

"Take...m-me...-cough- home, Mr...Man! Spicy taste...can't...caaa...br...br..."

I hold up a hand and waited for them all to stop speaking. A few had died from allergic reaction after consuming the jissou mother's face and hands, not that I minded. But I soon asked the crucial question:

"Why should I take any of you home? If you give me a good reason, I will make you my favorite pet!"

Then, pandemonium decided to go hand-in-hand with hell and literally broke loose.

---

-

End Part 1