Tales from the Canterlot Mortuary is a collection of stories surrounding the mortician Mort Momento and looking through the many corpses that head his way, figuring out their means of death, carrying out their terms for a funeral, and having some fun along the way.

This first entry is more of a pilot story. I had written it a long while ago (like a couple of years now) and I'm just now deciding to publish it here. If you have any ideas for future entries, please suggest them in this format:

Name: (this would be a character from MLP. It might branch out to other series, but for now, it's MLP. If your suggestion is an OC, please link to their appearence)
Cause of Death: (how did they die and how were they found at the crime scene?)
Death Outfit: (how were they dressed when they were processed by CSI?)
Funeral Arrangements: (what, if anything, have they requested happen to them for their funeral?)

Without further to do, let's begin!

Bittersweet (Pinkie Pie, 2nd person)

9:13 PM. That was the time they called it according to the note attached to the body bag of one Pinkamena Diane Pie. You were just a hapless mortician that was assigned to analyzing the body. You look at some of the notes attached to it, like how she was aged at 23 by the time of her death and that she died of cardiac arrest. You unzip the bag and by God was she gorgeous. Her eyelids were naturally closed and her face gave off a natural, peaceful look.

Her hair was long, curly to the point of it being fluffy like cotton candy and in a bright hot pink color. You continue to unzip the bag. She wore a pink sweatshirt and black track pants. Her body was a bit on the chubby side, but not to the extent of her being morbidly obese. You notice that CSI team have prepped her body for examination with the bagged hands and the fact that one of her feet are missing a sock. You take the body out of the bag and carry her to the metal tray that you prepared for her. Rigor mortis seemed to have passed for her as you notice the way her body limped as you carried her.

You sneak a grab at her butt as you lay her down and judging from that feel alone, you figure out what’s the first thing to be taken off. You take off the other sock and put it to the side. You observed both feet as you lift up Diane’s legs and worked your way to the waist. Tugging the pants down, you managed to pull down both her pants and panties down. The last tug to take them off was hard, so you turn and struggled. Her corpse flopped to its side as you pull them down. You pulled her down too, as you noticed her soles inching close to your dick.

You pull down your pants slightly and let your penis touch her soft feet for a moment. After that, you pulled them back up and go observe her body. You look at her smooth ass as it lined up with pink sweatshirt. The curves of her butt looked adorable. You take a squeeze on one cheek before squeezing the other. You pull down your pants, lower the tray, and mount Diane. You align your dick within the part where the two cheeks met the legs and plopped it there. You felt the coldness of the corpse, but can also feel your penis surrounded by soft, silk-like skin. You rub your penis in between her legs for a while, a few times your dick edged to her vagina, until finally you cum over her butt. Nothing that a quick wipe from a kleenex wouldn’t fix.

The time for more sex had to wait. You’re assigned to study the corpse, not fuck it after all. You flop Pinkamena over and try not to gaze at her vagina for fear of your sex drive taking over again. You figured that getting the shirt off would be more difficult. Rather than struggle with pulling it off, you decided to just grab a pair of scissors and cut the sweatshirt off her. You started at the bottom and began cutting upward. Her gut was revealed and you gave it a quick rub of her soft belly before you finished cutting. You take the shirt off her and all you’re left now is her bra. It was one of those lace bras that showed a bit of the nipple via see through fabric. You look at how the nipples were erect. With one cut, you take off the bra, put it to the side, and now you have a nude body.

Now was the time to look at her vagina. The first thing you notice is her fluffy bush of pubic hair. Already her appearance is giving you a hard-on. You part her legs and look at her vagina. You go to the sink and wet a cloth. You go back to the body and dab a little bit of the cloth onto her pussy to make it a bit more wet and lubricant. You lift her legs, undo your pants, and began to screw her lifeless body. With each thrust, you notice her breasts and hair bounce, her arms juggling a bit to keep up. Seeing the motion made you sick and you stop. You turn her body around to see her adorable butt.

You continue your sex. You can see her face rub against the cold steel, cheeks pressed up to the point where her lips parted. You hold her from behind and grab her large, soft breasts as you bury your head into her hair. You begin to wonder what kind of person she was and why she had to die. It often helped you making a personality for her. Eventually, with one last thump, you came inside Diane Pie. You got out and her body slumped to the ground.

You take out a small hose and began to wash her body, taking extra care with the pussy as your cum drained out of her. Soon, her entire body was wet and her once beautiful hair was now long and wet. Her mouth was open and you decide to give her a tongue before you set your sheet over her corpse. You’ll begin the autopsy in the morning.

---

Fortunately, someone else did the autopsy for you so you don’t have to go through the gruesome details. Looking at the scar on her nude body and her skin even paler made your dick hard. You raise her legs, inserted your dick into her body, and clung onto her for dear life as you humped her body.

Her nipples poked your chest as the scars rubbed against you. You hold her tightly as you ride out your lust onto her body. You could feel the embalming fluid inside her as you kiss her on the lips. Her breasts wobble a bit, but not by much. You comb your fingers through her hair and kiss her on the forehead.

Eventually, you cum inside her body. This time, you don’t clean it, but rather grab a cotton ball and stuff it into her pussy. You decided to do something different and take Diane’s hand. You pressed her fingers onto the cotton and shove it in. You leave her like that and get out your phone to take some pictures of the corpse “masturbating”.

You decided to go all out on her, licking her nipples, feeling up her pubic hair, even opening up her eyelids to look at her gorgeous yet lifeless blue eyes. You decided to go one more time, though this time, you’re going in protected. Although her holes were covered, you made an exception to her ass.

You go gently, as if she was alive and looking right at you. You massage her breasts and feel up her belly. You rub her legs before touching her soft soles. You grab onto her hands, continuing to pretend you and her were lovers. Eventually, you came again and took your penis out of her anus.

You close her eyes and get her clothes. She had been given a simple white dress with shoes that show off her cute toes. There was also panties for her, but you decide to put just the dress and shoes on. You bunched up the dress to see her pussy one last time. Taking a picture, you finally put panties onto her and leave her.