Pt 1

There was an excited hush in the room as the first competitors stepped up to take their turn. The Annual Independent Gymnastic Clubs Fundraiser, open to all the clubs in the region, was always a very popular event and this year was no exception. The tickets were pretty pricey for such an event but, as usual, every seat was filled and not just with family members of those participating. In fact, more than half the tickets had been sold to people with no connection to the event what so ever who were simply keen to be there. The AIGCH event, you see, was pretty famous and very special.

The event was structured much like any other – there were a number of events testing various aspects of gymnastic ability and artistry, divided into age groups and judged by a panel of respected veterans and coaches. The age categories were six to nine, ten to thirteen and thirteen to sixteen. Each participating group could compete in as many of the categories as they chose, entering one contestant in each age-group. All the money raised would go to support the local groups with the winner in each category earning more for their particular club but every club benefiting in some way.

What made the AIGCH stand out, however, against other events of its kind and what made it attract the spectators that it did was the prize that the winner in each category would receive. In addition to the money for their club and their picture on their club’s wall of fame, a kind of immortality in a sense, the girl who came first in each event would, during the presentation ceremony after all the events had been run, be beheaded and her body cooked and served to the guests – the price of admission also included a meal and that is what most of the public came for!

While they competed, of course, the girls all wore standard gymnastic leotards bearing the colours and insignia of their team but for the award ceremony, they would all change into different coloured togas with nothing underneath, each team wearing matching colours, in an attempt to emulate the great sporting events of ancient Greece. The winners would be crowned with laurel wreaths and mount a podium then, at a signal given by the master of ceremonies, they would pull on the knot that held their togas at the shoulder, revealing their nude, athletic bodies.

This was, of course, always a popular time for visitors to take photographs even if they had not bothered during the contest itself! Once everyone had got a good look at the winner’s bodies, the event would move outside onto the green behind the building where the spits, roasting pits, grills and pots would be set up and waiting. In the centre was a small stage with steps leading up to it and an executioner’s block at the front.

Each champion in turn, traditionally starting with the youngest, would mount the platform and lay her tender young neck on the block. The privileged of actually wielding the axe went to a local dignitary, usually the Mayor, for the first chop and then passed to the queue of mostly men but the occasional woman also who had paid for the opportunity.

In front of the stage, the rest of the girl’s team would gather to catch her severed head as it fell. These heads were then quickly passed to an employee of the local taxidermist who would pack them in ice ready to take back to the workshop and preserve. These preserved heads would be the most sought-after prizes in the raffle which would be drawn while the meat was cooking with other prizes including the leotards and underwear that the winners wore while competing. Those with the winning tickets would be notified when the heads were ready for collection and could opt to have them preserved either as trophies or with an easy-rinse throat-coating and removable base – this option was known as a “Happy Ending” and was by far the most popular, even among the parents lucky enough to win their own daughter’s head!

By the time the execution of all the winners was complete, the remaining contestants, having stood in huddles in front of the stage ready to catch the falling heads, were usually considerably splashed or in some cases, where one team had won more of the events than any other leaving only a few of them left, soaked in blood. Since it was nearly always a warm afternoon when the event took place, it was customary for the remaining girls to shed their togas and have a huge water-fight to clean off. This, as might well be imagined, was also very popular with the spectators.

While the girls were cleaning up, their beheaded colleagues would gutted and cleaned and either parted out or prepared for the spit or stew pot and, after a couple of hours, the naked gymnasts would help to serve the meat of their more successful team-mates to the hungry ticket holders.

This was the third year that eleven year old Chelsea had competed and she was determined that it would be her last!