>>4283
Appreciate the advice, and will take that into account next time.

>>4285
I caught one typo while re-reading ("spit" instead of "spot") and have fixed that in my master copy, but what else did I miss?

And as with the person above, will work on incorporating more of the victim's reactions into the story (keep in mind, she was magically paralyzed - the widening of the eyes, signaling that she realized what was happening to her and was utterly terrified by it, was literally about the only movement she could manage) and including more details on the dissection.

Quote: "What does she think about when she's been reduced to a brain in a jar?"

I'll probably include something about that in the next part when I write it. (I do know she's pretty freaked by it.)

Quote: "All in all, though, I'd say this is a fairly decent first effort, and I certainly wouldn't mind reading more of your work in the future."

Thank you. I'll try to work on the sequel soon. (I actually have an older MLP vore story I've been meaning to work on as well, so with any luck, that might also be posted at some point in the future.)