Literature

2016/02/08(Mon)16:43:59 No.4536 [Report]

I ended up losing a bit more than the story, hence the delay. That aside, here's the re-written ending.

Laura's parents were away for the week. The phone call from the school reached Laura directly. In an instant, her plans for the future, a path she thought had been set in stone, had now shattered like glass. She went back to her room, tears in her eyes. Maya, who was awaiting for Laura to return, immediately assumed the worst.

"What's wrong? Did something happen to your parents? Is it about the videos you took from the archives?" Maya asked.

"It's the videos. They found out. They'll send an official seppuku request by morning. They told me it would be better to get it over with now, so they could pick up the body and inform my family," She spoke, holding back her tears.

A chill ran down Maya's spine. She sent Laura to get that video today. It shouldn't be Laura dying for this, it should have been her. Sadly, it was too late to change Laura's fate. What Maya could do, however, was to die with Laura, as a form of redemption, and apology.

"I'll go with you," Maya blurted out, caught up in the moment, and probably not realizing what this meant, for both her, and Laura.

Laura burst into tears, as she threw herself onto her bed. Maya lay down next to her, gently stroking Laura's belly.

"I can't. I can't do it," Laura sobbed, "I'm scared".

"Do me, then. I'll tell you what its like, just don't cut too much, 'kay? I think you'll still want me around while you open up your own tummy," Maya whispered.

Without hesitation, Maya got off of the bed, and took her tanto from her bag. She threw the sheathed, rather tacky dagger towards Laura. This was Laura's first time seeing it, and it immediately changed the mood.

"The fuck Maya, candy pink?" Laura said, unsheathing the blade, "Why is the blade pink! What did this poor tanto do to you?"

"I thought it might make committing seppuku easier, what with it being such an eyesore that I'd WANT to die rather than be seen with it," Maya retorted, and laughed.

"Right, get your ass over here before I decide to off myself from how tacky this thing looks," Laura said.

Maya smiled softly, and went back onto the bed. She sat down between Laura's thighs, rubbing her rear against her friend and lovers crotch. Despite her calm outer appearance, her heart was racing. She was afraid. Who wouldn't be? But, she blamed herself for what Laura would have to go through. She saw this as the only way to redeem herself, and also show Laura just how much she loves her.

"Guess you got bored of all the sex, huh?" Maya asked jokingly.

"Well, I was always into snuff, and who said we can't have sex AFTER we're gutted?" Laura replied.

She brought the horribly pink tanto to Maya's soft belly, near her left hip.

"Ah, wait, not there. Start with my belly button, Naoki style," Maya said, just as Laura was about to puncture her soft belly.

Laura moved the dagger to Maya's horizontal innie. The blade slid right into place, the tip just touching the pit of Maya's navel. Laura paused to admire just how perfectly it slotted in. It was almost as if Maya's navel was a secondary sheath for the tanto. Maya arched her back, feeling the tanto put pressure on her navel, and raised her hands above her head, signalling she was ready. Laura began to push. The pressure slowly built, as the tanto began to tear through skin, slowly making its way into the depths of Maya's soft, deep belly button. Laura kept the pressure up, as Maya's navel soon gave way, the dagger sliding smoothly in, blood flowing neatly in a single stream down Maya's belly.

"T-that feels, great," Maya said. She was lying. She was in a tremendous amount of pain, but she would do whatever it takes to make it easier for Laura, when her time comes.

Laura moved the blade around, slowly gyrating it around her partners navel, before starting to saw left. Maya moaned and groaned, trying her best to make it sound sexual, and not pained. She somehow managed to make it work, as Laura slipped her free hand down Maya's pants, providing some minor relief, in the form of sexual stimulation. She sawed and fingered Maya in unison. Once she broke free of Maya's navel, she simply slid the dagger across with minimal effort. Tear's poured down Maya's cheeks. Yet she knew that this was just the start. There were 3 more cuts left to make.

Laura repeated the procedure to the right this time, cutting a grim blood-red smile into Maya's tummy. Then, she stopped. She lay the dagger aside, and moved in front of the eviscerated girl.

"My turn, cut down my midriff," Laura said.

Maya grasped the dagger with both hands. She had to make the full cut before she grew too weak, as then Laura would suffer unnecessarily. Laura slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing her smooth, pale belly. Despite her injuries, Maya couldn't resist. She dug straight in. Her tongue ravishing Laura's navel, before using her tongue to mark how she would proceed with the cut. With Laura's help, she placed the dagger just below Laura's sternum, before quickly pushing it in. Laura winced. This hurt a hell of a lot more then how Maya portrayed it. Maybe it would get better when it got to her navel. Maybe it would just get worse. She honestly didn't want to find out.

"Fuck, Maya, that really hurts," She said through gritted teeth.

Ignoring her complaints, Maya started to pull the tanto downwards, the sound of skin tearing, and flesh splitting open causing Laura to feel sick. It only got worse when Maya got to her navel. The sawing motion made her feel nauseous. She grabbed onto the tanto, stopping Maya. They looked one another in the eyes, before tearing the tanto downwards in unison. The violent tearing caused Laura to puke, and spill out some entrails. Realizing that their time was severely limited now, Maya pushed Laura down.

"Remember that one hentai manga we read, where the girls gut each other, and literally eat each other out?" Maya said slowly, trying hard to form articulated sentences, "Lets fucking do it. It's gonna be fucking wild".

Laura just nodded. Maya, holding her belly, moved on top of Laura. This was one very, very twisted 69. Once they were both happy with their position, Maya let go of her belly, spilling blood and guts on Laura's face; and at the same time, started to lick, bite and chew on Laura's belly and guts. Laura retaliated, pulling Maya's guts out with her teeth, as she started pushing into the wound. Maya pushed her belly onto Laura, making it easier for her to mutilate. Following Laura's lead, Maya began tearing into her lover's stomach. Much like a wild beast feasting on its live prey's soft innards, so too did Laura and Maya feast upon each other. The pain driving both into a primal frenzy, as they ripped and tore each others bellies apart, sending bits of flesh and guts all over. Maya, finally getting through enough guts, found Laura's vagina. In her frenzy, she began biting, and chewing into it, only to find Laura had done the same to her. They drove one another to bloody orgasm after another. Finally, after there was nothing save for a few stray loops of entrails, and mutilated vagina's in both of them, they stopped. Maya rolled off of Laura, turning around, so as not to stare into what was left of Laura's pussy. Their eyes met.

"That... sucked," Laura whispered.

Maya nodded, "Lets tear our hearts out. Get this over with," she said, her voice trembling in pain, and fear of what was to come.

Laura complied. They inserted their hands through the incisions on their bellies. Finding each others hearts, they began to make out. Their tongues intertwining for the last time. Never breaking their kiss, they both grasped and pulled with all their strength. Their hearts, in each others hands, belly to belly, they never opened their eyes.

The end, and stuff. That took a bit longer to write than I'd wanted, but I think it turned out quite a bit better than the previous ending, i.e. less filler text and more of the lovely, sexy and gory action.

I also just got an idea for the epilogue, that I had to write down, in case I end up forgetting. The vice-captain of the baseball team will get her team members, and fans of Naoki, to rush the presidents office, where they will restrain him while she commits seppuku, then strangles him with her entrails, before cutting some more, followed by everyone else committing mass seppuku, in various, and in some cases rather entertaining ways.

>Looking forward to it! Though I hope you're not shitfing focus too much from the girls commiting seppuku to Gendo and Shinji, especially Gendo, cause fuck him, I've only mentioned him as an excuse to why Shinji doesn't commit seppuki with the girls. Unless you have a way for their presence in the story to enhance the fun of the girls' seppuku scene, of course.

I was thinking something along the lines of when it's Shinji's turn to commit seppuku, he just laughs at the already disemboweled Rei and Asuka, before Gendo walks in, with two Rei clones, or something along those lines. I actually really liked Gendo's character in Evangelion. Really determined to get what he wanted, and in getting what he thought was best for humanity.

Preview
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Preview	2016/02/08(Mon)16:43:59 No.4536 [Report] ▶ I ended up losing a bit more than the story, hence the delay. That aside, here's the re-written ending. Laura's parents were away for the week. The phone call from the school reached Laura directly. In an instant, her plans for the future, a path she thought had been set in stone, had now shattered like glass. She went back to her room, tears in her eyes. Maya, who was awaiting for Laura to return, immediately assumed the worst. "What's wrong? Did something happen to your parents? Is it about the videos you took from the archives?" Maya asked. "It's the videos. They found out. They'll send an official seppuku request by morning. They told me it would be better to get it over with now, so they could pick up the body and inform my family," She spoke, holding back her tears. A chill ran down Maya's spine. She sent Laura to get that video today. It shouldn't be Laura dying for this, it should have been her. Sadly, it was too late to change Laura's fate. What Maya could do, however, was to die with Laura, as a form of redemption, and apology. "I'll go with you," Maya blurted out, caught up in the moment, and probably not realizing what this meant, for both her, and Laura. Laura burst into tears, as she threw herself onto her bed. Maya lay down next to her, gently stroking Laura's belly. "I can't. I can't do it," Laura sobbed, "I'm scared". "Do me, then. I'll tell you what its like, just don't cut too much, 'kay? I think you'll still want me around while you open up your own tummy," Maya whispered. Without hesitation, Maya got off of the bed, and took her tanto from her bag. She threw the sheathed, rather tacky dagger towards Laura. This was Laura's first time seeing it, and it immediately changed the mood. "The fuck Maya, candy pink?" Laura said, unsheathing the blade, "Why is the blade pink! What did this poor tanto do to you?" "I thought it might make committing seppuku easier, what with it being such an eyesore that I'd WANT to die rather than be seen with it," Maya retorted, and laughed. "Right, get your ass over here before I decide to off myself from how tacky this thing looks," Laura said. Maya smiled softly, and went back onto the bed. She sat down between Laura's thighs, rubbing her rear against her friend and lovers crotch. Despite her calm outer appearance, her heart was racing. She was afraid. Who wouldn't be? But, she blamed herself for what Laura would have to go through. She saw this as the only way to redeem herself, and also show Laura just how much she loves her. "Guess you got bored of all the sex, huh?" Maya asked jokingly. "Well, I was always into snuff, and who said we can't have sex AFTER we're gutted?" Laura replied. She brought the horribly pink tanto to Maya's soft belly, near her left hip. "Ah, wait, not there. Start with my belly button, Naoki style," Maya said, just as Laura was about to puncture her soft belly. Laura moved the dagger to Maya's horizontal innie. The blade slid right into place, the tip just touching the pit of Maya's navel. Laura paused to admire just how perfectly it slotted in. It was almost as if Maya's navel was a secondary sheath for the tanto. Maya arched her back, feeling the tanto put pressure on her navel, and raised her hands above her head, signalling she was ready. Laura began to push. The pressure slowly built, as the tanto began to tear through skin, slowly making its way into the depths of Maya's soft, deep belly button. Laura kept the pressure up, as Maya's navel soon gave way, the dagger sliding smoothly in, blood flowing neatly in a single stream down Maya's belly. "T-that feels, great," Maya said. She was lying. She was in a tremendous amount of pain, but she would do whatever it takes to make it easier for Laura, when her time comes. Laura moved the blade around, slowly gyrating it around her partners navel, before starting to saw left. Maya moaned and groaned, trying her best to make it sound sexual, and not pained. She somehow managed to make it work, as Laura slipped her free hand down Maya's pants, providing some minor relief, in the form of sexual stimulation. She sawed and fingered Maya in unison. Once she broke free of Maya's navel, she simply slid the dagger across with minimal effort. Tear's poured down Maya's cheeks. Yet she knew that this was just the start. There were 3 more cuts left to make. Laura repeated the procedure to the right this time, cutting a grim blood-red smile into Maya's tummy. Then, she stopped. She lay the dagger aside, and moved in front of the eviscerated girl. "My turn, cut down my midriff," Laura said. Maya grasped the dagger with both hands. She had to make the full cut before she grew too weak, as then Laura would suffer unnecessarily. Laura slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing her smooth, pale belly. Despite her injuries, Maya couldn't resist. She dug straight in. Her tongue ravishing Laura's navel, before using her tongue to mark how she would proceed with the cut. With Laura's help, she placed the dagger just below Laura's sternum, before quickly pushing it in. Laura winced. This hurt a hell of a lot more then how Maya portrayed it. Maybe it would get better when it got to her navel. Maybe it would just get worse. She honestly didn't want to find out. "Fuck, Maya, that really hurts," She said through gritted teeth. Ignoring her complaints, Maya started to pull the tanto downwards, the sound of skin tearing, and flesh splitting open causing Laura to feel sick. It only got worse when Maya got to her navel. The sawing motion made her feel nauseous. She grabbed onto the tanto, stopping Maya. They looked one another in the eyes, before tearing the tanto downwards in unison. The violent tearing caused Laura to puke, and spill out some entrails. Realizing that their time was severely limited now, Maya pushed Laura down. "Remember that one hentai manga we read, where the girls gut each other, and literally eat each other out?" Maya said slowly, trying hard to form articulated sentences, "Lets fucking do it. It's gonna be fucking wild". Laura just nodded. Maya, holding her belly, moved on top of Laura. This was one very, very twisted 69. Once they were both happy with their position, Maya let go of her belly, spilling blood and guts on Laura's face; and at the same time, started to lick, bite and chew on Laura's belly and guts. Laura retaliated, pulling Maya's guts out with her teeth, as she started pushing into the wound. Maya pushed her belly onto Laura, making it easier for her to mutilate. Following Laura's lead, Maya began tearing into her lover's stomach. Much like a wild beast feasting on its live prey's soft innards, so too did Laura and Maya feast upon each other. The pain driving both into a primal frenzy, as they ripped and tore each others bellies apart, sending bits of flesh and guts all over. Maya, finally getting through enough guts, found Laura's vagina. In her frenzy, she began biting, and chewing into it, only to find Laura had done the same to her. They drove one another to bloody orgasm after another. Finally, after there was nothing save for a few stray loops of entrails, and mutilated vagina's in both of them, they stopped. Maya rolled off of Laura, turning around, so as not to stare into what was left of Laura's pussy. Their eyes met. "That... sucked," Laura whispered. Maya nodded, "Lets tear our hearts out. Get this over with," she said, her voice trembling in pain, and fear of what was to come. Laura complied. They inserted their hands through the incisions on their bellies. Finding each others hearts, they began to make out. Their tongues intertwining for the last time. Never breaking their kiss, they both grasped and pulled with all their strength. Their hearts, in each others hands, belly to belly, they never opened their eyes. The end, and stuff. That took a bit longer to write than I'd wanted, but I think it turned out quite a bit better than the previous ending, i.e. less filler text and more of the lovely, sexy and gory action. I also just got an idea for the epilogue, that I had to write down, in case I end up forgetting. The vice-captain of the baseball team will get her team members, and fans of Naoki, to rush the presidents office, where they will restrain him while she commits seppuku, then strangles him with her entrails, before cutting some more, followed by everyone else committing mass seppuku, in various, and in some cases rather entertaining ways. >Looking forward to it! Though I hope you're not shitfing focus too much from the girls commiting seppuku to Gendo and Shinji, especially Gendo, cause fuck him, I've only mentioned him as an excuse to why Shinji doesn't commit seppuki with the girls. Unless you have a way for their presence in the story to enhance the fun of the girls' seppuku scene, of course. I was thinking something along the lines of when it's Shinji's turn to commit seppuku, he just laughs at the already disemboweled Rei and Asuka, before Gendo walks in, with two Rei clones, or something along those lines. I actually really liked Gendo's character in Evangelion. Really determined to get what he wanted, and in getting what he thought was best for humanity.
Post number	No.4536
Board	Literature
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