And traditionally I will start with my first guro story - Just a whim.
It was inspired by this picture: rule34.paheal.net/post/view/938874
I've also rewritten the core part of it later, so it's not really an example of my first time writing guro anymore.
Still so nostalgic.

***

Just a whim

(Evangelion, Ayanami Rei, hanging, casual)

I, Ikari Shinji, woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall asleep again. So, I decided to do what I always do in such cases – to go and peep on Sohryu Asuka, a girl living in the same apartment as me, though in different room of course. She is a friend of mine and, I must admit, a total nymphomaniac. Every night she brings home a new boy or even adult man and has sex all night long. As any healthy 14yo boy I can’t stay calm when something like this is going on in the next room. I got used to watch Asuka get fucked and then return to my room to masturbate while imagining myself doing this kind of thing with Rei.

Ayanami Rei is the girl I love. I don’t have any courage to confess it though. She is a total opposite of nymphomaniac Asuka – as pure as an angel. However all three of us are best friends. And while I don’t hate Asuka for her nymphomania, it’s Rei’s purity that I admire, and I think it’s the main reason to why I fell in love with her. Someday I’ll tell her about my feelings. It would be the best if she loved me back, but I know that even if it appears she doesn’t have the same feelings for me, she doesn’t hate me, and it would be enough for her to agree to date me. At least, as long as she doesn’t have anybody else. And then eventually we will marry, raise a few children and live a long and happy life. That’s how I see my, I mean, our future.

But enough introductions, let’s return to the flow of events. I was going to peep on Asuka, but to my surprise not only she wasn’t having sex, she wasn’t in her room at all. There was a strong smell of sex, but nobody in the room. That means Asuka and her lover left the room before I got here. Are they still in the apartment? If that’s so, Asuka might catch me looking over her room… I think Asuka actually knows that I peep on her, but we never spoke about it, and I don’t know what might happen if she catches me in the act.

However, my fears were misplaced. I found no extra shoes in the hallway, and no Asuka’s shoes either. Obviously, both Asuka and her lover were not indoors. I wonder where have they gone? To his place maybe? Or Asuka suddenly got romantic and asked him to go on a date? Normally Asuka doesn’t like dates and sees them only as a way to drag a man into her bed. However she sometimes has very sudden whims, so I wouldn’t wonder if she stopped right in the middle of having sex and asked for the date in the night. That unpredictability of hers can be annoying at times, but that was why me and Rei loved her (as a friend). With Asuka around we could never get bored.

So, I confirmed Asuka’s absence, however I was still feeling I couldn’t sleep right now. I came to the balcony to breathe some fresh air. And from there I saw Asuka was actually on the street nearby. No sign of any boys around, but instead Rei was also here. Two of them stood under the cherry tree. I couldn’t see from here what they were doing. It wasn’t also a good idea to shout loudly in the night. So, I decided to just get down to them.

“Hi, girls, what are you doing?” I asked the moment I got out to the street.
The same moment I saw them close and could actually see what was going on. While Asuka was in her nightwear, Rei in addition to that had skirt on her tights and a noose on her neck. From that it was obvious what they were doing, but I had already asked, so no wonder I got this response:
“Can’t you see, idiot Shinji? We’re hanging wondergirl!” Asuka never missed any opportunity to call me ‘idiot and Rei ‘wondergirl’.
Rei on the contrary never said anything unnecessary, so she remained silent and just nodded slightly in confirmation that Asuka told the truth.
“Why are you doing that, Ayanami?” I asked worriedly. “Has something happened?”
Even if we were friends, I couldn’t call Rei simply by name the same way I called Asuka. It must be because I secretly loved her, I got embarrassed every time I tried it, so I just stopped trying and kept calling her by surname.

“Sohryu-san called me and asked if I could come here,” Rei explained with her usual calm voice. “And when I got here, she was waiting for me with these ropes.”
“Yeah, I was having fun,” Asuka winked to me. “But it wasn’t fun at all. Then, suddenly a thought came to my mind: ‘Hey, why don’t we hang wondergirl?’ And that’s it.”
“Ah, so it’s just one of Asuka’s whims” I sighed with relieve. “I was just afraid you were disillusioned with life or something like this,” I added, feeling embarrassed for having such thoughts.
“It is nothing like that,” Rei answered. “My life is quite carefree. As for your concern… thanks”.
Is it just me, or did she blush just a little? Even with the moonlight it was still night, so I couldn’t really see.
“Don’t mention it,” I replied. After all, it was only natural to be concerned about your friend, more so if she’s also your secret crush.

I took a step back and looked at Rei again. Now that I was reassured that my worries were misplaced, I could take my time admiring her. Not being fully clothed made more of her white skin visible than usual, but nothing indecent. Rei’s skin reflected moonlight as if it was glowing. That silver glow was really beautiful and it suited Rei very well. There were two ropes: the long one had one end in a noose around Rei’s neck, and was thrown over a branch of a cherry tree, the other shorter one was used to tie up her hands. And while that second rope naturally seemed out of place on her gentle wrists, the noose around her neck surprisingly didn’t. The combination of Rei’s unconcerned face and a noose, framing it, looked really charming. She looked so natural with a noose around her neck, it was hard to believe she only put it minutes ago. It was like it has always been there, only I never noticed. I couldn’t help but wonder how would she look when the noose is put into work.

Of course, I couldn’t just stand and watch Rei being hanged while doing nothing.
“May I be of any help?” I asked the girls.
“Of course I can handle something like hanging wondergirl by myself”, Asuka answered. “But since you’re already here, I guess it won’t hurt if you help a little”.
“So, what should I do?” I asked again.
“Well… it’s my first time hanging someone…” Asuka admitted reluctantly. “Do you think I’ve done everything right with the ropes?”
It’s not like I have more experience in it than you, you know? But I agreed it wouldn’t hurt if I examine the ropes. That was still better participation then none.

I walked around Rei, carefully examining the noose on her neck. It had a large diameter and I could freely take it of Rei’s neck if I wanted to.
“Shouldn’t you tighten it after you put it on one’s neck?” I asked Asuka.
“No, I left it like this intentionally”, Asuka answered. “It’s a running knot. It will tighten itself with wondergirl’s weight”.
“What is that, a knot for those who are too lazy to tighten it?” I wondered.
“Are you an idiot?” Asuka pronounced with a shouting tone, but had to keep her voice low ‘cause of the late time. That was kinda funny. “It is to prevent wondergirl’s blood vessels from being blocked. At least I hope it works”.
“I’m not sure if I get it”, I shrugged my shoulders.
“C’mon”, Asuka sighed. “Wondergirl, you’re kinda smart, why don’t you teach that idiot?”
“Alright”, Rei answered. “You see, blocking blood vessels would make me pass out in a matter of seconds,” she explained, pointing at her arteries on the neck. “Sohryu-san hopes that a running knot would help me keep conscious until I die”.
“But you still die, don’t you?” I asked, failing to see the point. “Then why bother?”
“No, you’re certainly an idiot”, Asuka concluded. “It’s not the result of death that excites me. It’s the process!”
“Ah, so you just want to prolong Ayanami’s agony?” I finally understood.
“Now you got it!” Asuka said with a smile of triumph.

I examined the other rope. Rei’s hands were tied in front of her.
“I guess this has some inventive purpose too”, I said. “But I’m too much of an idiot to get it”.
I actually meant it, but it seemed this time our roles changed.
“Well…” Asuka hesitated. “I’ve only made some research for a noose. And this… I remember seeing it on a picture or in the movie maybe… hanged man had his arms tied… so I just did the same”.
“Did he have his hands tied in front of him or behind?” I asked.
“Does it make a difference?” she wondered.
“Ayanami, tell her”, I had fun of Asuka, using the same ‘argument’ against her.
“I believe the hands of that man were tied behind his back to prevent him from reaching the noose and trying to loosen it”, Rei explained. “However, I don’t believe it will work like this”, she demonstrated how she could freely reach the noose.
“What, are you able to escape the noose?” Asuka half-shouted again. “You should have told me that earlier!”
“I don’t believe I can free myself”, Rei answered in a usual soft tone, ignoring Asuka’s shouting. “But taking occasional breathes can help a lot”.
“Help what?” Asuka didn’t get.
“Prolonging my agony, of course”, Rei explained in her usual clinical manner.

“However,” I added to Rei’s words, “the rope here makes no difference”.
“Then it won’t hurt either, right?” Asuka said. “No reason to bother taking it off then”.
“But there is a reason”, I pointed out. “There is a better use for the rope”.
“Oh?” Asuka got interested. “What can that be?”
“Obviously it’s tying Ayanami’s ankles up”, I answered. “If we don’t do that, she would be able to swing her feet in the air more freely, thus tightening the loose faster.”
“In other words, if we do tie her ankles, her agony would last even longer?” Asuka asked.
“At least, that’s what I believe,” I said.
“Worth a try,” Asuka nodded. “Idiot Shinji, make it so.”

“May I?” I reached Rei’s hands with mine.
“Sure,” was the answer.
Rei gave me a permission to touch her, however it was still a little embarrassing. I carefully untied her hands and then crouched to tie up her ankles.
“Hey, idiot Shinji, don’t even think of peeping under her skirt!”
Of course I didn’t intend to peep, and Asuka knew it, she just couldn’t miss a chance to make me feel uneasy. I tried not to pay attention to her, but her comment still made me more embarrassed. Maybe that’s why when I finished with the rope and stood up, I didn’t put much thought in it and asked Rei:
“Ayanami, see if that’s tight enough.”
She tried to move her feet apart, but couldn’t do so because of the rope. Actually, she was falling right on me. I caught her and so, suddenly, the two of us were embracing each other in the middle of a moonlit night. At least none of us fell to the ground. And our eyes were so close…
“Rei, are you all right?..” I asked worriedly, in the fast flow of embarrassing events I didn’t notice I called Rei by her name.
“Yes…” she answered with some uncertainty in her voice. Was that from the falling, or was she embarrassed too? “The rope works just fine”.
“Ah… that’s good…” I felt I had to say something else but I couldn’t think what.

I don’t know why, but I was still holding her. And, to my surprise, Rei didn’t loosen her hold on me too. Is it that she had not recovered yet, or something else?..
“You called me ‘Rei’,” she noticed. “You never called me by name before. Does it have some special meaning?”
Oops, that looks like one of those confession scenes. My face turned completely red, and for a moment I wanted to run away. But then I realized something. The noose is already on Rei’s neck. There will be just some agonizing last minutes, and then she will be gone. There won’t be any awkward scenes like when we meet at school tomorrow and don’t know what to say to each other. It is a perfect chance to confess, and I would really be an idiot not to use such a gift from my fate. So I throw away all the uncertainty and said directly:
“Because I love you.”
And from this close I could now tell Rei blushed a little too.
“So…” for the first time I saw her not knowing what to answer. “Do you call the person you love by their name?”
“Something like that”, I confirmed.
“Shinji… does it mean you also love Sohryu-san?”
“Ah, that’s not it, we’re just friends…”

I broke the hug and started offering excuses, until I realized what she had said just before. She called me ‘Shinji’ right after I explained to her that calling by name is used for those you love. Obviously it has only one explanation!
“I only love you, Rei”, as I’ve already thrown away all the doubts, it wasn’t embarrassing to say that now. “Do you love me?”
“Yes,” she almost whispered. “I have always… loved you. But I didn’t know what to do with that”.
“Basically, when you love someone, you come up and confess,” I told her, not that I followed that advice myself.
“I’ll keep it in mind”, Rei answered responsibly.
Earnestly saying something like that while having a loose around her neck, it was so like Rei. I couldn’t help but giggle at how out of place her seriousness was.
“You’re so funny”, I couldn’t keep my laughter back. “It’s not like you’ll have a chance to use it”.
“True”, she nodded and smiled a cheerful smile.
Ah, what a beautiful smile it was… Rei doesn’t smile often, but it only makes the times she does more valuable. As her seriousness broke, the mood was now much more appropriate for the occasion. High time to hang her.

“Sorry for taking time,” I apologized, turning back to Asuka. “Everything is ready. Please, enjoy Rei’s slow and agonizing death”.
“Like I need it anymore!” Asuka sniffed. “I’m too tired of waiting. I’m just leaving!”
And she just headed away… I followed Asuka with my eyes. After all that effort put in Rei’s hanging, Asuka would just leave? Her capriciousness wasn’t something new, but it still left me confused. Might it be that she got jealous because of the love talk between me and Rei?
“Asuka, wait!” I said, but she was already too far to hear, or so she pretended. Finally, we watched her enter the building.
“So…” Rei said in confusion. “What now?..”
“Well… I guess you may go home…” I made a helpless gesture.
“I don’t think so”, Rei answered.
“Ah, right, I forgot…”
I hesitantly crouched to untie the rope that held Rei’s ankles.
It’s a shame, isn’t it? I was looking forward to see you hanged, Rei. I mean, the noose over your neck really suits you, you know? I bet it would have looked even better with you actually hanging on it, all limp and lifeless. And the agony Asuka was so excited about must would have been a really great show, don’t you think? Well, at least she won’t get it either.
As I leisurely untied the rope, the free end of the other rope that hanged from the cherry tree branch drew Rei’s attention. She looked at it curiously, then took in her hands and examined closely as if she found an unexpected solution to a problem that bothered her and wanted to make sure it was really there. And when I finished with the shorter rope and stood up, she gave that free end to my hands.
“What?” I stared at it in confusion. There was nothing special about the rope.
“Hang me”, Rei said plainly.

I was stunned for a second, before I understood what she said.
“Ah, was I speaking aloud?” I realized. “Rei, you must have took me wrong. Yes, I would have enjoyed watching you dying. But that doesn’t mean I want you to die. Rather than that, I’ve always dreamed of our future. How we will date and eventually marry. Then we’ll raise some children and live a long and happy life together. What do you think of that?”
“But that’s…” Rei have suddenly got emotional. “That’s what I’ve always dreamed of too”, she said. “Knowing we share the same dream makes me feel warm inside… Is it what you call happiness?”
“I believe it is”, I answered, feeling the same pleasant warmth filling me.
I hugged her softly, letting us feel the warmth of each other.
“You weren’t”, Rei said after I reluctantly broke the hug.
“Sorry?..”
“You weren’t speaking aloud earlier”, Rei elaborated. “Though I’m glad to know you will enjoy hanging me”.
“But why then?” I asked in confusion. “There’s no sense if Asuka’s not watching.”
“It is not for Sohryu-san either”, Rei said. “It is for myself.”
“How so?”
“Sohryu-san woke me up in the middle of the night with her sudden call and asked me to come immediately. I didn’t say a word and hurried here at once, not even taking time to put on my blouse. So tell me,” she appealed, “did I come all this way just to turn around and go home?”

Her words reached my very heart. Just how could I not see it before? I must have been a real idiot. Isn’t it natural that waking up in the middle of the night would make you feel bothered? Now that Rei told it straight, I found myself feeling so sorry about her not being hanged after all the trouble.
“My poor girl”, I breathed out, as I reached for her face and caressed her cheek gently. “Please forgive me for being so blind. I will kill you right away. Even if the rope won’t work, I’ll strangle you with my own hands, wring your neck, smash your head against the curb… Ah, if only I could kill you more than once, I would do all those things…”
Rei blushed, touched by my determination.
“Anyway, you will not see the dawn”, I concluded as I reached for her hand, entwining my little finger with hers. “I promise you that”.
“Thank you”, she answered simply and sincerely.
“Alright then,” I said. “Time for you to go to the better world”.
“I cannot have an afterlife”, Rei answered to my surprise. “I am a clone, thus I don’t have a soul.”
“Never heard of that”, I said in confusion.
“You never asked.”
“What’s it like not having a soul?” I wondered. “Sounds sad.”
“Not at all”, Rei replied. “It is self-assuring. Makes me confident that I am what I am. Not merely a vessel for an immortal soul. Nor a soul that takes possession of the body. I am myself and nothing other from myself. Thus, when I die, I truly die. That completeness is priceless. I would never trade it for an afterlife.”
Rei spoke so warmly of death, I couldn’t wait to grant it to her. I pulled the rope a little to strain it, demonstrating my readiness.
“Wait a moment,” Rei asked. “Let me take a breath”.
I watched as she took a few deep breathes, raising the oxygen level in her blood. With the shorter rope removed, she wanted to compensate for the lost agony time.
“I love you, Shinji”, she said before taking the last and deepest breath and holding it.
“I love you too, Rei”, I replied and started pulling the rope.

With the first pull the noose made an uncomfortable pressure on Rei’s throat. With the second one she was forced to stand on her toes. The third one finally lifted her above the ground. I saw Rei search for a ground with her toes, checking if she’s lifted enough. She almost reached the ground, so just to make sure I lifted her another ten centimeters. She didn’t feel heavy at all, but who knows how long I’ll need to hold her. A late thought came to my mind that I could just tie my end of the rope to something like another branch or the trunk or whatever. But as I looked in Rei’s eyes and saw the endless trust in them, I felt personally responsible for the hanging, and I couldn’t just quit from doing it with my own hands. I promised to kill her with my own hands, so that’s what I will do. I felt like with the power of love that overflowed me now I could move mountains.

At first Rei didn’t struggle at all. She had enough air from her last breath, so for a while she just hanged still. Because of the tight noose, she couldn’t speak anymore, but we didn’t need words as we could read each other’s eyes. All kinds of feelings mixed in Rei: love for me, happiness of being loved back, delight of her upcoming end, together forming an overwhelming joy. Rei was so beautiful in her gleeful anticipation of death. It was a pleasure to see her like that.

Time passed and it was harder and harder for Rei to resist the urge to breathe. Her body used up all the oxygen she had with her last breath and ached for more. Rei tensed up, trying her best to fight the spasms, but finally she couldn’t take it anymore. She gasped for air, but it didn’t work. It only made her burning lungs hurt more. I saw Rei’s expression change from glee to a forced smile, then to pain that she could hardly bare and finally she broke into agony. Rei shed tears of pain, she tried to scream, but made no sound. She twitched uncontrollably and I could feel every twitch through the rope. Our eye contact was broken, but I didn’t have to read her eyes to see how much pain she must have felt. I could see now why Asuka thought this would be fun. No matter how much Rei asked me to hang her, how much she treasured her finiteness, her body just couldn’t help but fight to the end. Rei’s jerking was hilarious in it’s futility. It was no good at helping her avoid inevitable and was only useful for amusement of viewers. And since the only viewer was me, I made sure to enjoy the show not to let it be in vain.

Rei reached her neck with her hands. Was it because of the instinct or because of her desire to prolong her agony according to the plan, but she did her best to loosen the noose. She could only take a quick breath before her involuntary jerking made the air cut off again. She kicked her legs down as if to push off the air, but the only thing that she accomplished was tightening the noose.
“Hey, don’t kick so hard”, I complained. “You’re wresting the rope from my hands”.
I don’t know if she heard me. She was too busy fighting for her next breath. This time she could even produce a noise that was supposed to be scream, but sounded more like cough. Tears streamed down her face and glistened under the moonlight like little stars. While trying her best to hold her hands on the noose, she couldn’t control her legs, and they were twitching in a passionate dance. I believe I even had a couple of glimpses of her white panties. I dunno if untying her ankles shortened her agony, but it certainly made it a better show. Rei suffered like hell and it was heavenly beautiful.

Even as Rei grew weaker with time, she was still alive and squirming desperately with no indication to how long it would continue. I was glad that everything we did to prolong her agony was working well, and for a moment I was even a bit worried if Rei was going to die at all. I can’t hold her forever, and even if I could, I kinda promised to end her until the dawn. But there was a lot of time until the morning, so I put my worries aside, just holding the rope and feasting my eyes on Rei’s dance. I knew her agony was genuine, and it filled my heart with joy.
I watched Rei making yet another attempt at freeing her throat from the pressure. She clutched on the noose and jerked it down as hard as she could. But it appeared what she was trying to achieve wasn’t a breath. In the short moment her throat was relatively free, she found a strength to say something. She spoke quickly, her voice was weak and hoarse, so it took me time to figure out the words. And when I did, they shocked me. She was saying: “Put me… down…”

Put her down… It was so sudden that my first impulse was to do as she told, but I stopped myself in time. It was amazing how unbearable her pain must be, if she even asks me to stop it. And as much as I enjoyed watching her agonizing convulsions, I might have had considered actually releasing her to save her from that pain, if not for one thing. Releasing Rei would not only ease her pain, but also let her live. And that’s certainly not what either of us wanted. Rei has to endure that pain for a bit longer if she wants to die.
“Sorry, Rei”, I said, not certain if she could hear me. “No pain, no gain”.

Some more time passed by. It’s been a while since Rei had her last portion of air. Her hands were still holding the noose, but seemed used up. Strength was leaving her body and her twitching became weaker. Her cheeks were covered in multiple dry traces of tears, and new tears continued to stream over them. She drooled from her half-opened mouth. I realized that Rei wouldn’t be able to take another breath. She understood it too, and that helplessness only made her suffer worse. Watching her despair was amazing. I was glad I didn’t put her down.
And then with her last bit of strength Rei stringed herself up to speak once more. She failed to make any distinct sounds, but I tried to read her lips. Don… won… dai… What, “Don won dai”? It’s just gibberish. Oh, wait. It was “Don’t want to die”. Now that really threw me out of my stride. I nearly let the rope go. Rei not wanting to die? That can’t be happening. After all, if she minded, she could just refuse to put a noose over her neck. And never during all of the preparations she showed any sign that death was unwelcome for her. Not to mention how she treasured her finiteness and how delighted she was when I just lifted her up. So I must have just misread her lips, right?..

“Don’t want to die,” echoed in my mind clearly as if she had pronounced them aloud. My confidence wavered. Killing Rei was the greatest fun I had in my life, but was it the right thing to do? There is still time to stop it. I still can put her down and untie the noose, embrace her and wipe her tears, promising never to hurt her again. We could still put our common dream to life. Just a while back I wondered how long would it take for Rei to die, but now it seemed to happen too fast. Which choice is right? Keep my promise and let her die? Or let her live and break it? I must decide now. My grip on the rope weakened for a moment as I wavered…

And then I saw Rei’s eyes again. I caught her eyes only for a moment, as she was weakly, but still twitching in agony. But that short glimpse was enough. Rei’s eyes were filled with unbearable pain. I could almost feel it on myself, the pressure of the noose, the burning lungs, the lack of oxygen. Even a moment of a shadow of her pain threw me into terror, and Rei felt it continuously for the past… whatever number of minutes it was.
But behind all of the pain in Rei’s eyes there was a single spark of a clear mind. Through that tiny breach I could see all the way to the bottom of her heart. And what I saw there was heavenly wonderful. Rei was praying. All of her remaining willpower was dedicated to the single prayer. “Please…” it said, “please don’t release the rope”.
That’s it. Now I understand. All of Rei’s body, even her words, betrayed her, struggling for life, resisting death as any living being would. But Rei herself never had a second thought. Her desire to die was earnest. Of course it was. I was such an idiot to doubt Rei. She put all her trust in me, I could at least do the same. But thankfully I didn’t make a fatal mistake yet. The rope was still in my hands. I could still do everything right.

“Don’t worry, Rei”, I said to her reassuringly. “I won’t let you down.”
I tightened my grip on the rope and even pulled it a little, lifting Rei even more up. As it made additional pressure on her neck, she suddenly stopped her weak twitching. Her hands released the noose and fell limp to her sides. She just hanged in the air still as in the beginning, like she was revealed that I haven't freed her. But Rei wasn’t dead yet. Her body gave up on fighting, but her consciousness was still there. Her agonizing face changed to a relaxed expression. Seems like she’s too far beyond the line to even feel pain now. With an effort she focused her blurry eyes on me. Even so I could read them clearly. Just with her eyes she asked me if I enjoyed myself.
“Never saw anything nearly as beautiful”, I answered. “What about you?”
Rei’s eyes were filled with love and gratitude. She was now glad she responded to the call and came all the way to here, even if it was in the middle of the night. All the bother proved worth it and she had nothing more to regret.

Gradually the light in Rei’s eyes was fading along with her life. Her senses faded. She now looked through me. She could see nothing and feel nothing. Her consciousness was left on its own in the empty darkness. Rei dashed through the darkness, but no matter how far she ran, there was no light in the end of the tunnel. Rei didn’t stop. She ran and ran purposefully until she suddenly hit the wall. That’s it. The dead end. Rei sighed with relieve. She wasn’t going to any kind of afterlife after all. She was just coming to an end, completing her existence. Rei always considered her finiteness to be a blessing, and now that she faced it, she was more certain of it than ever. What was dying was not merely Rei’s body, but her very self. It was being reduced with every moment, but while there was at least one living brain cell, it was filled with overwhelming bliss. Rei’s wide open eyes wet with tears of happiness stared into nothingness, and her half-opened mouth formed a smile of delight the same moment the last spark of life disappeared in her eyes. Rei had died and it sent me on cloud nine.

It was over and it was a success. I did a great job and was proud of myself. But my tired hands asked for some rest, and I anchored the rope. It took some time, but Rei wasn’t going anywhere now. After finishing with the rope, I returned to my love. Her lifeless body swing serenely in the light breeze under the cherry tree, her dead face wet with tears and glowing in moonlight. So beautiful. Even the streams of urine released from her bladder entwined her legs in a manner that I can only describe as elegant. I hugged Rei. Her body was cold, and her heart didn’t beat. She didn’t react to anything. It felt so wonderful to hold her dead body in my arms. I licked some tears from her face. They were pleasantly salty. Then I looked right into Rei’s eyes. I couldn’t read anything in them. Instead of the infinite universe, there was now perfectly empty nothingness in her eyes. In awe, I couldn’t avert my stare. Rei was beautiful. Charming. Dead.

I don’t know how much time passed before I was distracted by Asuka’s voice.
“Hey, how long are you going to stand there?” she said. “I would appreciate your help here.”
I turned around in surprise and confuse. Hadn’t she gone home? Apparently, not. I was Asuka leaning back comfortably on the nearby bench, watching and definitely enjoying the show. Her panties were lying by her side on the bench, and her hands were playing with her pussy between her spread legs. I blushed and turned my eyes away in embarrassment.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
“What does it look like?” Asuka answered as casually as her activity allowed. “Having my part of fun of course! Can’t let you have all of it after all, now can I?”
“But… haven’t you gone home?” I asked, still facing other way.
“As soon as I noticed you didn’t follow me, I returned to check what was the matter, so I’ve seen and heard pretty much everything”, Asuka explained. “Hey, can you stop hiding your face? I’m speaking to you, you might as well show me some respect and watch into my eyes. C’mon, you watched me do dirty things a lot of times! Why are you embarrassed all of a sudden?”
Asuka didn’t sound like she wanted me to look at her because of her exhibitionism; she sincerely didn’t understand why I turned away. And, actually, why? Asuka was right: I’ve peeped on her many times. I only didn’t know if she considered it acceptable, and now she confirmed she did. So, I have no more reason to look away except my own shyness. Fighting it I turned back to Asuka. She continued her masturbation session, letting me watch for a while and become comfortable with it.

“So are you going to help me?” she finally asked.
“What do I do?”
“Lick my pussy and make me cum,” she explained.
“What?!”
“Just do it, I’ll hear your objections later” Asuka demanded.
After such a sublime and sensual experience with Rei to get to something so low and dirty… But after all it was Asuka’s desire for sexual satisfaction that led to all of that night’s events and resulting in me hugging dead Rei. It would be unfair not to let Asuka get her satisfaction.
I knelt down before the red-haired girl, her pussy appeared perfectly in front of me. It was the first time I’ve seen girl’s pussy, but there was no time to examine it. There was a certain job to be done. I stuck my tongue out and reached for what as I knew from books and porn was called clitoris. As my tongue touched it Asuka let out a soft moan. She never took her eyes off of Rei’s lifeless body. I licked her clit for some time and then stuck my tongue inside her pussy. It was warm and wet and let me in easily. It tasted weird, but not bad. I explored the insides of Asuka’s pussy with my tongue and as she was already well stimulated she soon had a very strong orgasm. I never saw her cum so intense when I peeped on her. Rei’s hanging surely helped.

A substance flowed to my mouth, it had the same taste as before. I pulled back, hesitating to swallow it, and looked at Asuka. She noticed it and with her hands brought my face close to hers. And the next moment her tongue was already inside my mouth, eagerly trying to reach for every drop of the substance. Only when Asuka was sure she couldn’t get any more of it she broke the kiss and swallowed it with a satisfied look. After seeing on example that it was drinkable I gulped what remained in my mouth. Asuka leaned back, still enjoying the view of Rei’s body. Her panties were still off, legs spread and pussy and tights covered in cum, but she wasn’t concerned about it even a little. Quite understandable right after such an intense orgasm.
I sat by Asuka’s side and joined her in looking at Rei. I thought how I will go to school in the morning and there will be no one sitting at that desk near the window. The teacher will call Rei’s name, but no one will answer. Only I will smile to that, remembering this night with a warm feeling. Rei is gone forever, I’ll never meet her again, not even on the other side. She just doesn’t exist anymore. It made me feel so high, not even eating readhead’s pussy affected that feeling. So, I guessed, it was OK to do it.

“Thanks for sharing it with me” Asuka spoke at last. “I mean the cum.”
“So, that’s what girl’s cum tastes like,” I answered. “Not bad. Its salty taste reminds me of Rei’s tears.”
“Huh, actually it was mostly the cum of my tonight’s lover,” she said. “You must know I love being cum inside.”
“Oh…” I didn’t know what to say.
“Don’t blame yourself for the mistake, it’s only your first time drinking cum.” Asuka understood my sigh in her own way.
“It was also my first kiss” I admitted.
“Oh, so you haven’t ever kissed Rei?”
“As you noticed, I confessed only today.”
“You should have kissed her then.”
“You know I can’t rush it like this.”

Even as we spoke, we weren’t looking at each other, but at Rei. We both wanted to imprint this night in our memory forever.
“Actually I thought my first kiss would be on the wedding with Rei” I continued.
“But now it’s impossible. What are you going to do?”
“About my first kiss haven’t been with Rei?”
“Idiot, I mean your future.”
“I don’t know” I answered honestly. “I have always seen my future with Rei and didn’t look for other options. But now there are only two of us.”
“So…” Asuka spoke slowly, “would you… perhaps… date me?..”
“Perhaps,” I agreed. “That seems to be the most reasonable option.”
Strange, but I didn’t feel embarrassed and uneasy like when I was talking to Rei about love. The answer was: I didn’t love Asuka in a romantic way, she didn’t make my heart beat faster and my thoughts confused. However, my love to her as to a friend was genuine. I believe Asuka’s feelings for me were the same.
She looked up from Rei and turned to me.
“Even if I made you kill your beloved?” she asked surprised at my quick agreement.
“You didn’t make me, I did it myself”, I corrected her. “But thank you nonetheless.” I said turning to Asuka in response and taking her hand in mine. “I could never imagine it would be such a blissful feeling. And of course it would never have occurred to me to do something like that. So, without this sudden whim of yours I would never have such a really unique experience. I thank you for that. From both of us.”
“Oh… I can’t imagine how something like this might feel blissful.”
“You should try it someday,” I advised. “To end your beloved’s life with your own hands.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love, but I’ll keep it in mind,” Asuka said.

“And don’t think I ask you to date me because I like you or something” she continued. “I only need someone who would take responsibility.”
“Responsibility?”
“You must understand that if I’ll keep my current lifestyle, and I intend to keep it, I’ll get pregnant sooner or later. I need someone who will be ready to marry me and take care of the child, while I’ll continue to have a lot of thoughtless sex even after that. I’ll understand if you refuse.”
“Don’t worry, I have no objections to that,” I answered reassuringly. “Isn’t that what friends are for?”
“Right. This and hanging.” Asuka giggled at her own joke, glancing at Rei. “And since we’re just friends, there will be no sex, even after wedding, do you realize that?”
“I guess I’ll have to live with that”, I sighed.
“Except, maybe, the kind of oral sex like we had just before” Asuka specified. “It felt so good to have someone clean your pussy of sperm with their tongue, but nit many of my lovers agree to it.”
“I believe I can provide you with it,” I said. “I anticipate how every time this taste will remind me of Rei’s tears”.
“Oh, you’re such a romantic.”
“After what happened this night there’s no way I’ll be able to forget Rei. Does it bother you?”
“Of course not! All three of us are best friends, I have no reason to feel jealous. Moreover, I too will never be able to forget wondergirl… I mean Rei. After all, her death gave me the greatest orgasm in my life”.
“It’s not just one orgasm.” I said. “I’m sure you’ll recall this night many times. And also you got me.”
“Indeed,” Asuka gave it a thought. “Do you think she had foreseen it?”
“That we will never know,” I said as I looked at Rei again. The rope was virtually invisible in the night, while her body was glowing in the moonlite, which made it seem as if blue-haired girl was an angel levitating above the ground. A capful of wind made her body swing a little and a bunch of cherry blossoms fell slowly from the tree. Some of them landed on Rei’s hair and shoulders. Ah, even if there were nothing else to gain, just this lovely scene was indeed worth taking her life.




---Epilogue---

What a strange dream I had just now. In this dream Asuka called Rei to come and awaited her with a rope for hanging. And Rei accepted it so casually as if she was asked nothing more than to go home after school together. Moreover, I offered my help and eventually killed Rei with my own hands.
But that was too unreal, wasn’t it? Definitely it had to be a dream. And when I wake up, the first thing I’ll see in the morning will Rei’s face. I stretched luxuriously in the bed anticipating it and finally opened my eyes.
“Good morning, Rei.”

She hadn’t changed a bit since that day. She was hanging on the rope in front of my bed in the middle of the room and on the wall behind her was colorful wallpaper depicting a cherry tree in blossom. Memories of her death flowed to my mind as warm and gentle waves of bliss.
“So it wasn’t a dream after all. I’m glad.”
The reality was we preserved Rei’s body so that she will never decay and her beauty will stay untouched for centuries. When we bought our own house we arranged the bedroom to represent the day when Asuka had a whim that changed all our lives. We even kept the same clothes on Rei’s body. This way every morning we wake up we can recall the events of that night and live through it over and over again.

Asuka wasn’t with me right now though. By the sound of sex from the next room I understood she was serving a client. She became a professional prostitute and earned a lot of money with it. Actually it allowed us to buy this house. And while she was the breadwinner in our family, it’s only fair that the housekeeping fell on my shoulders. Sometimes Asuka served clients at their places; sometimes brought them home like this time – we had a special room for it. Some of the clients even paid more for letting me watch them having sex with my wife. And since masturbating while watching Asuka was one of the two only kinds of sex for me, I always accepted such offers gladly.
But what I liked about Asuka’s job the best is not the money of course and not even a chance to see her doing it. It was that she herself really loved it. And when your favorite activity and your job are the same – that’s what it means to be happy. Therefore, I could not name a job that suited Asuka better.

When the client left, Asuka came to the bedroom. She was wearing a nightgown and no panties.
“I see you’re already awake,” she said. “I wanted to wake you by lowering my cum-filled pussy on your mouth, but whatever.”
She really loved this way of waking me and practiced it whenever she had a chance.
“At least clean me up as you always do”.
She sat on the edge of the bed and spread her legs. With a practiced movement I knelt before her and began doing my job. That was the second kind of sex I was allowed.
“Do you remember what day is it today?” she asked me strictly.
“No way I could forget,” I answered as the taste of Rei’s final tears flowed to my mouth. “It’s been exactly ten years.”

Every year we celebrated this day by a picnic on Rei’s grave. After all what hanged in our bedroom was mostly a stuffed skin. All that wasn’t used in it we buried here – under the same cherry tree where we hanged her.
So, the three of us came here again to honor the memory of Rei. By three I mean me, Asuka and our lovely daughter Sakura. Of course, even if I say ‘our daughter’, in fact she is a daughter of Asuka and one of her clients. And I am still a virgin and expect to stay virgin for I have no intention to cheat on my wife.
But that doesn’t affect my love to Sakura, I truly see her as my child. Even with such a mother she was really a pure child, I believe with the help of my education: I’ve always taught her how pure Rei was and that she should follow her example. Actually we gave her this name (Sakura=cherry) in memory of that night. So, we brought her with us today to show her the tree she was named after and tell her the story behind it. It wasn’t the first time we told her, but still she listened with interest.

…
“I said I couldn’t imagine how something like this might feel good.”
“Then I advised your mother she should try someday to take her beloved’s life with her own hands.”
“For that I answered: ‘I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love’. And I actually didn’t.”
“But you’re not right, mommy” Sakura said. “You do have a person you love.”
“Do you mean father?” Asuka answered. “No, even now I can only see him as a friend.”
“But you’re forgetting there are other kinds of love then romance” Sakura said as she was searching for something in her handbag. “Actually they say that the strongest kind of love is that of a parent to a child.”
I looked at Asuka and she looked at me. I saw a spark of excitement in her eyes. We were thinking the same thing.
When we looked back at Sakura in her hands she offered us a rope. We all knew we never turned down any whim of our beloved daughter.