I know, many of you have wished to have a mermaid as a friend, even become one of the merfolk.

Forget that, get that out of your head!

You have heard of salmon, yes? On reaching adulthood, they stop eating, swim back to the river they were born in, lay their eggs, then die.

Have you never wondered why WE're all beautiful and young?

Guess why us mermaids are so desperate to get laid: We die anyway, fertilized or not.

We either pop open and get eaten by our own offspring, become a shark snack, or rot and decay alive.