(edit of The Tale of Tsar Saltan by Pushkin, translation by Louis Zellikoff)

Three fair maidens, late one night,
Sat and spun by candlelight.
"Were our tsar to marry me,"
Said the eldest of the three,
"I would cook myself as steak–
Oh, what royal feast I'd make."
Said the second of the three:
"Were our tsar to marry me,
I would skin myself for dress
That could hardly not impress.”
But the youngest of the three
Murmured: "If he married me–
I would birth both girls and boys
That would all be great snuff toys."

…
“Greetings, maiden fair,” said he–
“My tsaritsa you shall be,
…
YOU for dinner I request,
And in YOU I will be dressed.”