Notes from a small town newspaper:

Missing: One head, answers to the name of Kate. Young, long red hair, one green eye. Does not bite-very friendly! Please call this number if found, our boys are very worried

For sale: one adult female skeleton, excellent condition (full set!!!) Surplus to requirements (new job). Great deal! Please contact me at xxxx. Cash only.

St. Andrews community fundraiser starts SUNDAY. Fun for ALL family. Raffle prizes from Ms. Bothwell and her daughter. Auction for the Selway twins. Bets on the horses (two this time!) Home cooking provided. Please come along!