Want that summer body? Diets not working? Gym not sticking? Don’t worry. There’s an easier way.

Introducing the Gillette Damascus Body-Trimmer. With a flexible grip and smooth, steel 10 inch blade, this revolutionary new product will reshape your body with a few, easy strokes.

“Everything I ate just went straight to my butt. Now I don’t have to worry ever again, thanks to the Gillette Damascus. And the mister loved my steak meat!"

“I…trimmed my stomach and…*cough* I’ve never been thinner. I don’t…even feel…hungry anymore. *louder, wetter coughing*Thanks…. Gillette!”

Only $95.99. Order now!

(Not responsible for organ damage and/or death)