STS-152a Subproject: F-12 Biological Experimentation Log

Mission Specialist: Maj. Matt Greer PhD. Vertebrate Biology
Guest Mission Specialist: Sir Gregory Hughs, D.Litt. Psychology and Modern Philosophy

Pre-Experiment Briefing:
To further examine the behavior of selected jissouseki specimen in conditions of low gravity.

Subject information:

Kingdom:

Animalia
Phylum:

Chordata*
Class:

undetermined
Order:

undetermined
Family:

undetermined
Genus:

Coerceo+
Species:

Fossor+

* debated
+Roughly “enclosed fool” as determined by the National Audubon Society as of 2011

In the little time that since the discovery of the first populations in East Asia, much has been learned about the creatures known colloquially, and herein, as jissou. First a brief history of the study of jissou as compiled by the Smithsonian, the National Audubon Society, and NASA mission planners.

~2004 First Jissou populations discovered in East Asia

2005 rapid proliferation

2005.10.?? African farmers “domesticate” jissou as livestock

2005.11.15 Vatican declares jissou “unclean” and therefore lesser than animal in rights, citing their unholy behavior and disregard for eachother. Consumption of jissou derived commodities deemed unacceptable. This in part sets stage for the Darfur conflict.

2006.12.26 Mass migration from mainland to Taiwan damages telecom cables, though direct cause unknown.

2007.01.27 Jissou imported as “exotic pets” widely to N. America

2008.01.23-02.04 Large jissou migration north to Europe causes submarine telecom cable damages costing billions in lost revenue/repair and maintenance costs.

2014 Smithsonian research logs incite congressional inquiry regarding the rights of jissou as “intelligent beings”. The supreme court rules 8-1 in favor of the indicted researcher in exchange for his anonymity (to keep from the moral dilemma of his profiting from the “suffering” of jissou)

2015.01.01 Supreme court ruling that animal anti-abuse laws may not apply to certain classifications of jissou.

2015.01.12 (Shuttle program continued past retirement as US policy toward Russia cools and Joint-Vostok project deemed null and void) STS-152a launches from launch pad 39a at 03:13:37 to take advantage of renewed experimentation rights.

General jissou knowledge as compiled by previous missions:

Physiology
Life stages: (1)Larval; (2)Nymph (adolescent stage); (3) Adult
High tendency for congenital defects, leading to hypothesis of lab synthesized origin
When stressed, endocrine responses leads to spontaneous spawning of numerous offspring; this Darwinian survival technique has lead to worldwide proliferation.
Internal anatomy similar to multiple primate species, though simplified.
Blueish hue displayed for stress or illness
Defecation is a survival tactic, as the feces is nutrient rich and the species exhibits cannibalistic behavior. Generally a jissou will stop to consume the expelled feces of another rather than waste calories attempting to catch and consume the prey that defecated.

Psychology
Display rapid growth of intelligence
equally rapid stunting of intelligence
able to communicate via spoken language, illiterate in most cases
display of emotional empathy rare, however group pain sharing has been postulated giving appearance of empathy/sympathy
intense urge to feed: cannibalistic/auto cannibalistic tendancies
generally conceited, superiority complexes noted

Culinary
Savory, like chicken
cook thoroughly; thought to be responsible for the 2008 southern African cholera outbreak

Begin Experiment Briefing:

Tests:
A.Exposure to near-zero G's
I.Subjects 1.0a-d
II.Subjects 2.0a-d
III.Subjects 3.0a-d
IV.Subjects (alpha)&(omega)
B.Exposure to near vacuum
I.Subjects 1.1a-d
II.Subjects 2.1a-d
III.Subjects 3.1a-d
C.Reproduction in near-zero G's
I.Subjects 3.2; (alpha) & (omega)
D.Digestive functions in near-zero G's

Subjects:

1.0a Stage (1) Healthy
1.0b Stage (1) Healthy
1.0c Stage (1) Mutated: ocular development stunted
1.0d Stage (1) Mutated: proximal limb stubs absent

2.0a Stage (2) Healthy
2.0b Stage (2) Healthy
2.0c Stage (2) Mutated: vestigial tail retained
2.0d Stage (2) Mutated: stunted limb development

3.0a Stage (3) Healthy
3.0b Stage (3) Healthy
3.0c Stage (3) Mutated: vestigial tail retained
3.0d Stage (3) Mutated: stunted limb development

(alpha) Stage (3) Mutated: near human appearance

(omega) Stage (3) First Class variety (deemed rare subspecies or mutation)

1.1a Stage (1) Healthy
1.1b Stage (1) Healthy
1.1c Stage (1) Mutated: outer integumentary layer (“clothes”) failed to develop
1.1d Stage (1) Mutated: critically obese

2.1a Stage (2) Healthy
2.1b Stage (2) Healthy
2.1c Stage (2) Mutated: outer integumentary layer failed to develop
2.1d Stage (2) Mutated: critically obese

3.1a Stage (3) Healthy
3.1b Stage (3) Healthy
3.1c Stage (3) Mutated: outer integumentary layer failed to develop
3.1d Stage (3) Mutated: critically obese

3.2 Stage (3) Healthy

Experiment A-I Setup notes:

Subjects 1.0a-d contained in clear acrylic apparatus measuring 200cm long, 100cm deep and 100 cm wide counterweighted and rotating to simulate roughly 1 Earth gravity.

Orbit achieved 02:37:23.

Experiment A-I begin observations 02:40:00

Maj: Greer's physical observations:
“Subjects 1.0a and 1.0b interact as expected, expressing unease and as usual, hunger. C (blind) collides with its fellow subjects and defecates; subject expresses more fear than others. D (lame) proceeds to roll laterally to achieve locomotion it along with a and b begins to consume the feces expelled by c.
At 02:42:00 The experiment was begun and the containment motor disengaged, thus allowing the jissou to float in the now Zero G environment. All subjects express intense fear and each defecates. Subjects aside from C attempt to obtain the floating spheres of feces to no avail. At 02:45:00 the enclosure is opened and the jissou are allowed to float freely. Their small bodies seem unable to shift their weight efficiently enough to move and appear to be at the mercy of physics. All subjects returned to containment at 02:56:00, gravity will not be restored until 2 days observation complete.”

Dr. Hughs psychological observations:
“Subject c seems to be more fearful of its environment lacking a means to envision its surroundings. It's cries of 'Is scary – refu!; What happen- refu?' Seem only to irritate the other specimens. It's fear is so great that it releases its bowels, thus initiating a feeding frenzy. Subject d seems to not notice its own impediment and interacts with subjects a and b normally, while ostracizing c like the others. A and B show apathy to D's limbless nature, or are too occupied with taking advantage of C to care. Upon terminating the gravity simulation all subjects submit to their primal fear and defecate. Cries of 'REFU! What going – refu? Am fall -refu!' are heard. Quickly the larvae forget their peril and the urge to feed consumes them. However as the Major has noted, they are unable to obtain the food they seek as a,b, and c's limbs and muscle structure do not allow for microgravity locomotion nor does the mutated structure of d.”

Day 2
Maj. Greer:
“Interestingly, subjects a, b, and d have begun their metamorphosis. This is despite their very young age. It is my hypothesis that they have begun their transformation not based by their internal biological rhythms but to anchor themselves to a surface, in this case the encasement. Subject C has not begun to transform and appears unconscious. Review of the surveillance video shows that around 08:15:00 the other subjects began to transform. C attempted to communicate with them but the other subjects seem to focus on anchoring themselves to the walls of the encasement. It appears that C, having released more contents of its digestive system yesterday than the other subjects was unable to muster the ability to transform. Upon viewing the surveillance video and conducting physical examination of C I have determined that it has expired of malnutrition/exhaustion around 12:00:00 yesterday. I have bagged the corpse for further analysis, and subsequent disposal. I am now examining the internal happenings of subject b (a of course being the control). I have carefully removed b from the container and have delicately removed part of the pupal covering. The tail has not recessed though the limbs have grown significantly. Its old clothes have begun to dissolve and the new layer has begun to form. I will now return subject to container and artificially reattach the pupa to the container wall.”

Dr. Hughs:
“The video capture was astounding. Not only has the jissou's will to survive spurred on an early transformation, in all but c, it appears that we may have discovered their ability to choose when they transform. C's weakness is cause for more suffering at the hands of its mates. A blueish colour can be observed as it weakens through the day. It's 'hungry-refu!, please help- refu!' are met with apathy or even hostility, as subject b appears to 'headbutt' c away and into the air. It is astounding how little regard these horrid little creatures are capable of expressing for one another. Alone and stomach empty, subject C begins to die. While all other subjects are soundly in the first stages of their brief hibernation, C curls up and defecates once more and the colour leaves its eyes, as they go dark. Clearly survival of the fittest has claimed its first victim; I excitedly await the fate of subject D.”

Day 3
Maj. Greer
“The transformations are complete and the effect the absence of natural gravity has had is astonishing! All surviving subjects show elongated body growth and are for the most part healthy stage 2 jissou. However each is roughly 1.5 times taller than expected and limb growth has resulted in a spidery appearance. D shows an interesting recovery of limbs, but somehow has retained its tail, though now it is slightly diminished. Upon releasing them from the encasement the jissou displayed much increased motor abilities, using their gangly arms to push themselves in many directions and contorting their bodies as an astronaut would, to move about. Interestingly D has shown an greatest motor skills in this environment, likely with the added benefit of a tail. I will now administer as sub test. I have placed three jissou food pellets on the opposite side of the experimentation pod. It will be up to the subjects to obtain the food themselves. Subject D moves quickly whipping its tail about to grab onto some pipework on the wall. A and B squirm to follow, essentially in an awkward swimming motion. D meanwhile hurtles about in a fashion reminiscent of an acrobat jumping off opposite walls. In no time D has reached the food and consumes all three. I will let Dr. Hughs make his observations now.”

Dr. Hughs
“I would like to first note that all subjects seem to ignore the fact the subject C is missing. Carrying on, amazingly, what was a handicap to D has become its saving grace. A and B glare jealously at D as it eats halfway across the room. Interestingly, for an “intelligent” creature, jissou show little regard for each other, as D without a second thought consumed its portion as well as its companions'. A and B yell, “come back- -techii! Mine – techi!” Maj. Greer has now fed A and B by hand and all subjects have been returned to the pen. The Major will now restore gravity to measure the ability for the subjects to adjust.”

“In an absolutely amazing twist, subjects A and B upon restoration of gravity, have taken their rediscovered ease of locomotion and used it to attack subject D, no doubt to make up for the feeding incident. A held D down as B punched and gnawed at D. The Major attempted to separate them, but this only served to make him their new target. Amazing, these miserable, stupid, little creatures. I removed one of the little beasts from the Major by smashing it with my observations clipboard which garnered a response of anger rather than fear. As it leaped for me, I drove my ballpoint pen into its eye socket, destroying it. Matt on the other hand was still beating the remaining subject as it clung to his uniform, defecating wildly. He succumbed to the innate instincts that drive us as a species to hate these little monsters and tore its arms off. Despite my best efforts to calm him Matt continued to mutilate the subject until nothing was left but floating globules of red and green blood, feces, tears. Subject D would have submitted to its wounds, but the Major finished it off. Too hesitant to interfere with him in his current state. “thank for saving- techi !”said subject D through red and green tears. “Techi! Too hard” it wailed as the Major grabbed it and threw it into the pen. As he latched the pen shut, the crying jissou defecated covering the tank with filth. Still enraged, Greer recalibrated the servos and activated the tank, which spun violently, making a sound like a boot in a dryer through the anguished cries of “TECHIIIII!”

“I fucking hate these vile things,” said the Major, though gritted teeth. I couldn't help but agree as we exited the experimentation module intent on washing ourselves of the sticky green and red fluids that had spattered us. Hopefully the next experiment would fare better results.