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47
2017/03/25
(Sat)
18:09:48
No.
9337
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I've learned a few more words, you have a pretty great vocabulary. I guess I can thank you for that :D
I like the detail of your descriptions, but the scene seems a bit too static...nothing really happens other than the sluts moaning or squirming at the feet of this...Lord of Doom. Of course...if that's what gets you off, there's no problem with you writing about it.
Also,your phrases are way too drawn out and it's hard to tell much about what's going on. You could try lessening your adjective count. <- just friendly advice
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9337
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Literature
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